I've been having the worst time getting sleep....my sleep schedule needs to change but its hard when you share a room and have loud noisey housemates who love waking up during the night....
Monday I'm going to another agency and I'm hoping they give me work and that the car can make the trips until I can get it fixed....I really need a steady income now. Tired of being denied the chance to prove myself...makes me wonder if people are lieing to me when they say I'm a good worker because no one wants to give me a chance....and when they do....they don't call back.
Usually they don't call back because the leads are spanish speaking...and I'm not. I know this is the reason.... I have no problem with that...to be honest it makes me feel bad I never learned from my grandpa. Its just frustrating ya know?
Before the bash fest begins let me say that those people didn't become leads cause they didn't deserve it...I can tell they did. And as far as the areas...well they're mostly spanish speaking areas. I can understand.....it'd be the same if I were to go to a highly chinese populated area....except there I'd have to learn to speak their language.
I have done the whole venturing out of areas like those....but if its not language....its appearance...and let's just say....some aren't enthusiastic about hiring the heavy girl who looks tomboyish. Think I'm wrong?....Years being judge in school for your appearance and you learn to be able to tell when someone is sneering at your looks.
Even when I've already had a job and my lead was asked 'who can you trust to be your assistant lead?'...he pointed at me and I heard the new supervisor say 'HEr?'...and then make a face like my lead was crazy....The whole time the new supervisor was there he would tell all the other girls hi when passing but completely disregard me. I proved his ass wrong tho....even he had to acknoweledge me...he even liked me afterwards.
A lot of people misjudge me....I was always the kid picked last for teams. I usually manage to prove them wrong and gain their respect without even trying...which is weird...but I wish jobs would give me that chance.....first impressions are killing me...and I'm not sure why?
Still wth is wrong with how I look?.....ugh it doesn't matter....I'm going to another agency...My cousin's friends' family owns it. Maybe it'll work out for me...*fingers crossed*
Aside from that....I can't believe I'm such a hater....yeah I'm admitting to being a hater...someone who hates on someone because of jealousy, insecurity, etc....I'm totally that person when it comes to some types of girls....weird thing is...I actually like these people I'm hating on. Not a 'I'd do anything for them' type of like...but the 'they aren't soo bad'...type of like.
Reasons?
They're usually pretty, attractive, and fun....but they use their gifts for EVIL....in my opinion. Lol.
Like manipulating decent guys to do their bidding. Not working and slacking off because they know they can get away with it. Flirting with another girls' knowing affection just cause they're bored. Always complaining how people are mean or jealous when they don't get their way. Sleeping around with attached men...knowing they're attached. |
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