I have a family member who is stressing me out. She is making me both worried for her well-being and pissed off for her current actions. Her actions are directly affecting 4 other people in her immediate family. They are also affecting herself and will for years...if not her relationship with others. I love her more than life itself but I cannot talk to her right now. It is too much too soon. I was just getting to the point that I could talk to her again after she strained our relationship with other actions from about 1.5 years ago.
She is engaging in life choices that will hurt her. She has left her husband and, effectively, abandoned her grown children. She has shut out her daughter and dropped her oldest son (who has health problems that need supervision) upon another family member. I am so thankful that her middle child is not at home to deal with this daily. I do not even know how much he is aware of her downfall. I have shown support to all the people she has directly caused pain and grief. I cannot at this time show support to her. I do not feel like she deserves it....on an elemental level.
My family member who has taken in her oldest son is stepping up to the plate. They are taking steps to make him more independent, which has been needed for awhile. He knows that I am here if he needs me as well. They all know that I am here for them. It pains me to not be able to show the person causing all the problems.
I don't know what else to say about this. I just needed to vent. It is stressing me out a lot.
On another note, tomorrow is my niece's 19th birthday. I wish I could celebrate with her personally but we live in different towns. She is going through personal issues of her own...on many fronts, and I wish I could be there to give her a big hug. I am not a hugger, people...not by a long shot. If I deign to give you a hug or receive one from you, feel very special. It means I trust you in my bubble...and that is rare.
Anyway, I am out of here for now...--Your friendly neighborhood stress machine, Robyn
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