Please die Ana
for as long as you're here
...we're not
I know that I said that this diary would be more optimistic, and this may be true with time.....but right now I am having negative thoughts.
The thing is...I've been struggling with with an eating disorder since I was 14. I am now 22. Over time, my physical symptoms have gotten a lot better. For example, I now have a good BMI for my weight but my thoughts keep deteriorating.
Of course I also struggle with other illnesses such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and so on. *Sighs* I am not sure if I can ever overcome this.
Today I had therapy and we are learning breathing exercises. I almost feel like I am wasting my time but I know somewhere in my conscience that is helping me. *Sighs* We went over relationship things like how I always choose intense relationships for myself because I think I deserve it. I have no idea. I am done ranting now. My next update will hopefully have more positive thinking in it. I am sorry for my blahness.
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