i toss and turn, i keep stressing my mind...
WTF?!
could i maybe not be so confused and used and played all the fucking time.
its like...guys can read me and they all treat me the same because lately....its been the same thing from every guy. im so not excited about life right now...its rediculous.
when im feeling like this, i find the best thing for me to do is drink my problems away...
i know thats not good, and i know thats not the answer but it helps. it really does. for the moment.
i know if i dont change my habits, ill end up like my dad; an alcoholic.
and i really dont want that. i have a chance to change that. but its so hard...it really is.
they say when bad things happen, they happen good and all at once. and in my case that is exactly true. im not going to go into too much detail, because it doesnt matter. but you know, everyone deserves a chance to be happy, im just wondering when my chance is...
maybe a chance to feel important, loved, cared about, not completly worthless.
life sucks. i really believe its a joke...everything about life is a joke.
love. happiness. money. all of it.
its all a big joke.
whatever though. it happens to the best of us.
[fuck]love.
peace.
-kirstie♥
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