today. good day. woke up with so much energy, i didnt know what to do with it all!!!
clem gave me a very valid point this morning...
so, matt keeps telling me that he is changing and that he wants to be with me and...well, hes been in jail for almost 5 months now and....clem says he is just trying to have someone guarenteed to be..umm, what is the right word...sexually available...for him when he gets out...and that really does make sense cause...if i keep talking to him, im gonna want to get back with him...then he gets what he wants...long story short, i really dont want that. i dont want to be with him. :/
anyways.
on a happy little note, i talked to steve saturday night. i blew up on him. it felt so good...until he threw something very important into my face and i realized that he was right....cause, i really never do say no. but, i wont go into what that means right now. :]
yeah, hes coming home like...the 12-the 15th or something like that and he wants us to hang out...
like...alone...he doesnt want to go to his house, he doesnt wanna go to my house...he wants to go somewhere else...idk..
im kinda nervous....not gonna lie. not nervous to be with him obviously, just nervous about...the situation i guess. he told me he missed me which was really weird for him...cause last time i told him i missed him, he was like dont tell me you're getting all mushy on me now. like...it shocked me!
courtney is kinda really starting to get on my nerves kinda a little bit. the way she treats me sometimes...really kinda pisses me off. shes a good friend and all, but i think she is used to acting that way cause of kaylin. and i told her today that i am not kaylin. :]
well, im out'a this bitch.
love. peace.
-kirstie♥ |
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