this weather is changing

I know I haven't been writing lately.. I've been so busy, and when I'm not busy I just haven't felt up to doing anything. I keep going to counseling sessions.. apparently this one year mark is supposed to be the hardest.. which is why I'm taking a slight break from pouring over all of my past. Also, it was giving me really freaky nightmares. The problem is, I never remember exactly what happened in them. I'm supposed to be writing them down right away so that I can figure out the theme of them.. but even right after I wake up, my mind is just blank. I just wake up with the feeling. And the ones that I do remember parts of are so fucked up that I don't even want to write them down/tell my counselor about them. eh.. enough about that.

It's been cold and snowy and cloudy and gray here for the past month. Today it was finally sunny. Just feeling the sun on my face.. the breeze on my skin.. it made things a little bit better. I really feel happier in nice weather. I wonder if I should keep this in mind when picking my grad school... Maybe San Fran isn't such a good idea. Maybe Hawai'i or San Diego or Long Beach would be better. I guess I'll just have to wait and see where I get in.

I just have to keep reminding myself
that it's all going to be
okay.
I'm going to be
okay.

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