im kinda wondering about the terms.. true love, the one, soul mate, other half,
i think throughout my whole life ive been on the mission to find my ''true love'' strait up, no lies. i defintely know that deep in myself there is a desire so fucking strong to have 'him' with me(whoever he may be). i dont think ive ever gone two hours without thinking about any guy i could share this moment with.
sometimes i think Blue is that guy, only khoz i had this dream once where there were a whole lota scenes of him following me, holding my hand, shoulder to shoulder, so far ive counted 7 nights dreaming about him, and there all intimate and satisfying, sometimes i wake up so angry because i had woken up lol i know stupid right,! but im so not shitting you, its weird but i love these dreams khoz i always wake up happy too,
so thats one reason, then theres another, ive been with guys, either flirting, kissing, or just talking, but it doesnt really feel like im there.... its fun and all, but not entirely. i appreiciate there beauty/handsomeness inside nd out, but im not dazzeled,
when i talk to blue, im so not kidding when the backround fades, like in the books, he's the only one im paying attention too, or want to, in a room full of people. im completely smothered when we're talking, his eye's pratickly fade, he still only talks to me about his life which makes me quite special.
well this must be thee most wierdest love ive been in, yes, i admiitted that i kinda love him,
but then i just want to act like we're feinds, maybe best freinds, i dont want to kiss him yet, or take advantage of our freindship but yeah i dont want to ruin what we got.
so we're just freinds for now, (even though im always imagining kissing him), il wait. |
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