Today? fucking awesome. And I think every day would be if I could just keep putting that little extra bit of effort into staying positive. As humans, we must do two things to survive. Breath in, and breath out. Everything else....Fuck it. I'm not gonna waste any more of my time bitching about trivial issues. My friend/ex/first e-mailed me today, and I think, for once, that I'm okay being friends. It doesn't eat at me seeing her with her new husband anymore, because I was being ridiculous to begin with. Things happen, and people break up. It's a part of life. And while she'll always have a special place, if not THE most special place in my heart, the past is the past. It's been twelve years since we met, and almost seven since we broke up. I think its time to be a fucking adult for once and stop crying about it. Nothing bad happened to me today. I wasn't even really all that bored. My life is moving in a completely new direction, and I abandoned two of my friends today in order for that to happen. No regrets. I'm not gonna say I Love You a single time ever again without meaning it. They were not prepared to be a positive influence and settle for just friends, no "I love you's" or anything, and so I do not have a place for them in my new life. I refuse....let me reiterate....I reFUSE to sit around this room whining about dumb shit and broken hearts all the time. That's not who I want to be. "When I grow up" was yesterday. I don't still get to say that and speculate. It's game time, here and now. |
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