Dead

05/01/2022

Heyyy!

So everything is getting better. I love my job, I am now doing PI which I love, my commute is not that bad. We are slowly catching up on our bills and just trying to rebuild out life after being houseless for 90 days.

We have some concerts we want to attend during the summer and some small Cali trips planned but after we get our finances in order. I am so excited for the future and love spending time with the love of my life and my little family.

A couple of days ago I found out my ex Eman died. I honestly have mixed feelings. Like it is very bittersweet but also he was a narcissistic person and very abusive towards me so it is weird. It was a very terrible relationship, but it seems like the cancer took over and he died in the hospital. I honestly don't know what to think except i am happy with Ryan but also feel weird and guilty because I moved on in my life but also he ends up dying and didn't have his ever happy ending which sucks but also it seems like he treated everyone around him great except me. I was the one girl that treated him so good but also got treated like shit but also it feels like it is a good time to release everything and let him rest in peace. It is just super weird though like he is forever gone. A part of me feels relieved also because there is no way he can contact me ever again. He contacted me in April I showed Ryan but I never responded. I mean this man almost destroyed our relationship, luckily Ryan forgave me if not I would of lost the most important person in my life, my true soul mate and my one and only. But yeah it seems like a perfect way to finally close that chapter in my life and be done with it. Anyways I gtg peace!