Last night I had a dream of my mom and Ryan hanging out together. It was such a beautiful sight, and in the dream she was so excited to hang out with him and I was there but I wasn't. It was very bizarre in the sense I never dream of my mom like ever. I think in the 11 years of my mommy being deceased, I have only dreamt like one time. It rattled me a bit because now I want to know what it means. I think it means though that she is happy and excited for me that I have Ryan and that she approves. It makes me so fucking sad though that she will never meet him and that bothers me, makes me so upset. Like if God exists I hope she is able to look down at me and is so excited and happy for me. She will never meet him but in this dream they were best friends and I loved that. I really wish this was real though. They were hanging out like they were best friends, and I wish I had that opportunity that they would of met in person. I woke up happy but also sad, happy because I believe she was giving me her approval at least that is what i believe the dream to translate too. but sad and angry also because they will never meet in person. I am convinced she sent him to me. Like anyone that knows my mom and then meets Ryan would be like, oh wow they are a lot alike. I am bawling just typing this it makes me angry. I wish this dream would of turned into reality. It will never be reality though and it sucks.
Anyways I needed to get this out.
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