I don't know what I'm doing. I'm thinking about just throwing away one of my morals, and doing whatever I want with this certain person. Its also so fucking stupid, because of the person I'm wanting to do it with. Literally. It. Do it. Like fuck. And its Alex Eckhart. Its just weird. Raena's told me, that I can do whatever I want with him.....but.... Its not just that, its the fact that I'm not dating him, but I've always wanted to do things with him, but Raena/my morals have kept me from ever doing anything with him. But now I'm getting so DAMN hormonal, and I really want to have fun with him. But he wants me to shave my entire body. Well, almost all of my body. Which is really difficult for me to do, because of the way I would have to do it, like to twist my body to shave it, would be really difficult for me. I mean I am really flexible, but there are just some areas that are hard for me to reach regardless.
And I mean... Its just weird.. Idk. I really want it to be like special, because I'm with my boyfriend, but if I lose it to Alex, then its just like oh I lost it. Woooot. lol.
And, I like Andrew Greenwood, and I really want to date him(and do him. lol.), but I don't know if he likes me.... GIIRRR!!!!! And then there is this guy named Ryan, who lives in like North Carolina, and I know him through my church, and he's gay, and we like each other, and blah blah, but I don't want to be in a long distance relationship. Its just dumb to do that. I know someone who is going through that right now, and they've been off again on again for two weeks....... ONLY TWO WEEKS. Its kind of stupid. But I mean.
......
I don't know what I mean. I don't know what to do. I have to pee. Lol.
I'm still really horny. Just thinking about Alex. Wow. I didn't know he turned me on just thinking about him......weird.
I love you Raena. I don't want to do this because I love you, but......jajsd;ofjasodfjalsdjf;laskdjf;laskjf;lsddf
Fuck. Raena text me when you read this and tell me if you're going off campus today or not, because I want to go with you. Just us. I don't care if you have any other people already planning to go with you, I want it to be just us. |
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