.

today sixteen is our day to celebrate love together each month for the past sixteen months so many days of my life were you

but last week i found you cheated

but

but

but aren't i your bee? aren't i beautiful? aren't i sweet to sleep next to and sweet to make love to and sweeter to laugh with? aren't i the one who holds you and hears the beats of your heart and sings your name when you are sad and loves loves loves each little bit of you.

but

but

but

.

i found a new job in a garden making green things grow through the winter and thrive in the summer and i am not going back to school right now i want to learn with my hands in the dirt . and i want to heal and i don't know how because i am sixteen months and all those days spent with you and yes yes i am strong i am still a honey bee strong i am just sad and so tired of the waves and the heart break and damn, it is kinda funny, cause now i cry when i listen to adele too.

but i hope that when all my green things are alive and bursting and color and sweetness then maybe i will be too.