My daughter (Part 2)

During all this time, I was living with my parents, and I literally did nothing but go to work, and come back and go out with my parents when they left the house. By this point in my life, most of my friends were off doing their own things, getting married themselves, raising their own families, or had moved out of the area. I turned to various internet groups to try and find a place to release, vent. I'd honestly forgotten about Bloop at this time. I wish I hadn't. But I was lonely for sure. But it was still rough. I think if I hadn't had Munchkin, I may not have been around much, as I was very depressed. I'd also lost my job at the call center due to downsizing of the department I was in. Rather than reassign me (as I was promised), they just let me go. I needed a new job, so I started working at a Tex-Mex type fast food restaraunt. Okay, it was freaking Taco Bell....but anyways....

*Side note here: I had to stop typing to track down nail clippers. My finger nails were getting caught on my keyboard.*

By my birthday that year, I'd finally put up enough courage to try and dip back into dating. Wow was that rough. I had profiles on a couple of free sites, and I'd start out texting them. When I bring up that I had a child and we were a package deal, they'd ghost me. First couple really bugged me, but over time I accepted it as a deal breaker for more than a few people. Then I started noticing something weird. I had been talking to a guy for a week or so, and he asked me if there was anything major he didn't know yet. I told him that I had a kid. I heard nothing back that night. Next day, I noticed a person come through the drive through where I was working, and flirting hard. Awkwardly, but he was trying. That night, as I was texting the guy, I mentioned it to him. Told him it was sweet, but awkward. He just says, "Ouch". Then brings up that me having a kid wasn't a huge deal, but he did need time to think on it, which is why he went dark the night before. I was relieved to hear that, and told him as much. We ended the conversation that night, and the next day, the awkward flirter came through again. This time, he asked me if I had a dating profile on a certain site. I said yes, confused where this was going, and he just said, "I thought so," before pulling forward to the next window. By the time I ran from where I was at taking money to the front window, he'd already pulled out. 

That night, my texting buddy and I were talking, and he finally came clean. He was the awkward flirter in my drive through for the past week. He wanted to see me in person before we "officially" met. I told him that was creepy as hell. And he admited to it. He also dropped a bombshell on me. He was a recovering heroin addict. Been clean for just barely a year. Living in a recovery house, but getting ready to move on from the program. He told me that if I didn't want to talk to him any more, he would understand, but that he'd hoped I would text him again, and we could really meet. 

I took a week to think on it. My mom wasn't any help. When I explained what was going on, her words were. "You just got rid of a bum, you don't need a junkie in your life too." I really think that was what sealed it for me. I needed to see if he was as bad as I'd heard for years that addicts were. So, I finally agreed to meet him. And I took my daughter with me. If having a child wasn't a big deal, what would having a bi-racial child be? 

So, we finally met at a bookstore/coffee house. He was a lot taller in person. He said I was a lot shorter than he realized. Then he saw my daughter, and played with her for a minute, before turning back to me and we sat there and talked for hours. My daughter napped in her stroller that day, and it was honestly one of the most comfortable first dates I'd ever had. I wasn't even nervous, other than what he'd think of my daughter. He only said that she was beautiful and he could tell where she got that from. What sealed the deal for me, was after Munchkin had napped, she wanted picked up. But not by me. She wanted Dustin to pick her up. And he did. He was such a natural with her. The fact that she was biracial was not even a thought in his mind. He told me later that me having her with me that day was startling, but he knew if he really wanted to date me, he needed to get to know her too. 

That was November 6, 2010. And we were married May 26, 2012. Dustin is honestly one of the most caring, generous, kind hearted, stubborn, thick headed and awkward people I've ever met. He never fails to make me laugh. My daughter was our flower girl for our wedding. His nephew our ring bearer. It was a hot May day, but it couldn't have been a better day. 

Shortly before we were married, he dropped another bomb on me. If we could get T to sign off on his parental rights to Munchkin, Dustin wanted to adopt her officially. And that's exactly what happened. After the wedding and once we got our taxes back in 2014, we started the process of a step-parent adoption. However, by this time, we'd lost track of T. I knew of at least 3 cities he COULD be living in, and had a couple of addresses. Sent notices of the adoption ot probably 5 places. Each one of them came back. So, our lawyer advised us that, in Missouri, if the bio parent can not be reached by a mailed notification, the next step would be to publish a legal notice in the newspaper local to where the person may be living. Course, he didn't say it had to be in the most MAJOR newspaper in the area. He put it in the smallest newspaper for the smallest geographical area around us from the next county over. Because the way our city is set up, most of it is in county A, while a small protion is in County B. The lawyer put the paper in the small local paper for County B that only reached a readership of a couple of thousand people, tops. As opposed to using the major news paper of the area which had a readerhsip of probably 75k. Hehehe, our lawyer had been around the block with this! 

Anyways, after the paper notification period went unanswered, we finally were allowed to schedule a date with the judge. It was the Thursday before Thanksgiving. We'd waited all this time. We had so many people come to court with us that day. My parents, my aunts, my brother and his wife, my sisters, Dustin's parents and brother, just anyone who could make it that day came. We spent hours at the court house waiting our turn. We were the last docket of the day. A rep from the state was there, and said the notification attempts were good (I laughed internally at that), the background checks and home study we had to do were good as well and saw no reason why the adoption could not proceed. The judge came down from his seat, and said, "I apologize for the wait folks. I sit in here all day and here argument after arguement over and about children, that when I have an adoption come up, I like to schedule it last, so my day ends on a good note."

My daughter was all of 4 years old at this point. She'd been calling Dustin "daddy" of her own free will for nearly a year at this point. We never prompted her to do so, she just did it one day, and we just let her continue. The judge comes down and sits on the floor in front of her and asks her, "Honey, what do you think of this man here next to you?" as he points to Dustin. She looked at Dustin, then back at the judge and said, "My daddy? He's the best!" The judge laughed, stood up, and said, "That's good enough for me." and deemed the adoption complete. 10 minutes in the court room, and we were done. 

So, yeah. Another novel. I promise not every entry will be this long. 

I hope.