The story of my daughter (part 1)

Munchkin's sperm donor and I had been together for about 2 years when I found out I was pregnant. It was terrible timing, honestly. He wasn't working, refused to keep a job. The only reason I hadn't left him at that point was because I didn't have anywhere else to go. I was paying all the bills and barely making ends meet. Some paychecks went to bills and I got food from the food pantry, or my mom's pantry. Just didn't have enough. I also knew that sperm donor, T, was up to something. I suspected he was cheating. But every time I brought it up, he'd deny it. "Oh, they're just a friend that I buy weed from" "Oh, they're having a really hard time with her boys, and asked me to come by to whip them into shape." Yeah. I was dumb and naive. Painfully so. 

Then, I found out I was pregnant. And I told him, he had a choice. It was either me and the baby, or it was me by myself with this baby. For me, abortion wasn't even an option. He was not happy with either option. But in the end, he chose me and the baby. Or so I thought. 

My pregancy with Munchkin was fairly uneventful, until the day before her due date. T had claimed that he had a job interview that day (I was so relieved to hear that that I didn't even realize it was a ruse). so couldn't be at the appointment. I went by myself. I was talking to my midwife before the appointment, and she expressed her concern that he wasn't there. She was a former band mom to a classmate of mine, and knew me for years. Told her he said he had an interview, and I got "the mom look" from her. She knew he wasn't going to be around even then. We get settled in and we were talking birthing plans (planned to go into labor and come to the hospital) as she's checking on the baby, and I hear, "Alright, let's check this......well.....hmmmm.....that's not good." She couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. My heart sank. I was so scared. So, she went and got an ultrasound machine to look closer. Come to find out, the reason she couldn't find baby's heart beat at first was because baby was breech. Oh. well, that makes more sense at lease. But the heartbeat was strong once she did find it. Baby also hadn't dropped at all. She was still chilling up in my rib cage. So, they sent me straight in to try an inversion. They were gonna try and manually turn her. They started on that, and instantly, baby was in distress, so they stopped for a few minutes, tried to push her down a bit, and try again, and same story. She wasn't going anywhere. So, I was scheduled for a c-section first thing the next morning. I was at my due date, and if we waited any longer, we ran the risk of me going into labor with a breech baby, which would have resulted in an emergency c-section anyways. 

This entire time, I'm texting T and telling him what's going on, getting no response at all. I figured it he was in an interview, he'd be an hour or so at least. So, I waited a little while, and called him. His phone went straight to voice mail. So, I called the only other person I knew who would have my back. My momma. She was a manager at a retail store, and as this was her first grandbaby, she'd been on "Baby Watch" for two weeks prior. Basically, she was cleared by her management that as soon as she got word that it was time, she was good to go and take two weeks off to help me out. She finished her shift that night, and the next morning, drove me to the hospital. 

I still had not heard from T in that entire time. 

Get to the hospital, get all gowned up, hooked up, and everything. Still no word from T. They were at the point where they asked me if I wanted anyone in the room with me at the time, and because he was still MIA, T was going to miss it. So, my mom came with me. The spinal block was one of the most unreal experiences I'd ever had up to that point. Just instant numbness. Blew my mind! But they get me numbed up, and laid down, my mom walks in just as the doc starts and out comes a healthy 7lb 9oz little bundle of hair and body. She had SO MUCH hair! My mom cut the cord, and went with my Munchkin to the nursery while they got me sewn up. 

Apparently, T called while I was in surgery. My sister had my belongings for me, and answered and gave him an earful. She still to this day won't tell me what she said, but said he got the gist of it, because he showed up 30 minutes later (It was a 30 minute drive from the girls house he was at). He held her, gave her a bottle, and gave her back, then disappeared again for a couple of weeks. He didn't come with me to my mom's house (I lived on a second story walk up at the time and after a c-section wasn't going to make it up those stairs), didn't check on Munchkin once during that time frame. By the time I went back home, he'd been gone two weeks. He told me he went to visit his mom and sisters in the next state over, but I didn't believe him then. When he came back to the apartment, he was put on daddy duty, and I had to go back to work just 3 weeks after my c-section. Luckily, I worked in a call center at the time, and my doctor cleared me to sit and take calls. 

He did alright for the first 6 months or so that she was home. Made bottles, changed diapers, did laundry...but over time, things started sliding. And he'd start disappearing again as soon as I'd get home from work. Things finally came to a head when, at around 10 months old, I walk into the door from work, and hear Munchkin screaming in her crib. She was dirty, and didn't look like she'd been moved from the crib all day. Everything that was in the crib had been tossed out, and he was nowhere to be seen in the apartment. I pick Munchkin up, clean her up, get a bottle in her (she drank 2 nearly full ones at once, so I suspected she hadn't been fed all day either), and then, went looking for him. He was at the next door neighbors house, baked out of his mind. When I asked him what the FUCK he was doing, he said she'd been a brat all day and he needed to unwind. He knew she was safe in her crib, but he had the baby monitor with him and hadn't heard a peep.The fucking thing wasn't even fucking on! He said he only left 20 minutes before I got home, but he was more than 20 minutes into his high. 

That moment, I packed up some shit, took MY car (before he could take off in it and disappear for the night) and went to my parents house. I knew I was done with him. I wasn't going to stay with him any longer. I found a baby sitter for her that day (thankfully through a friend of a friend), and started making plans to move out of the apartment. 

Come to find out, those plans came sooner rather than later, as the next month, I was served an eviction notice. The fucker had been taking our rent money and using it for pot. But telling me he'd paid it. I went ballistic on him. Yelling and screaming. The police were called by a neighbor. When I explained what happened, the police cuffed him immediately. Who knew he had outstanding warrants? Not me! Next thing I know, they're cuffing me as well. Come to find out, a ticket that I'd given him money to pay for me one day while I was at work had gone unpaid. My daughter was being loaded into a CPS car. Thankfully, one of the officers asked me if there was anyone in my family who would take her. I called every number in my cell phone, until finally, my grandmother picked up. The police were kind enough to uncuff me long enough to hold my daughter until my grandmother got there, and she then passed my daughter on to my mom after my mom got off work. I spent the night in jail. And I seethed the entire night. I did not sleep one bit. I was so livid that I couldn't see straight. The next morning, I went in front of the judge. He agreed to allow me 48 hours to pay the ticket, and I was released. I immediately paid the ticket (I had enough ON me when I was arrested!), and went back to the apartment. Met my mom, brother, aunts and a couple of friends there. Moved everything I owned out of there in about 3 hours. Turned my key into the apartment manager, and asked to have my name removed from the lease. We were on seperate leases, so she allowed me to pay the remaining portion for 3 months (borrowed from mom), and let me out. They didn't realize it was actually me paying bills, and not him. So, washed my hands of the apartment, and moved back home to my parents. 

That was the last time he saw her for more than 3 hours in a single stretch of time. 

And with that, I'm going to head to bed. This is a freakin novel already, and there's still more to come, but I promise, it starts getting better from here!