shattered windows and the sound of drums

Viola is moving to Sacramento. She's one of the girls I work with. Her last day was Friday so all 5 of us went to this supper yummy Mediterranean restaurant for dinner. We all dressed in super fancy clothes and I looked like a grown up. Furthermore, I didn't get asked for an ID when I ordered a beer which was really great. We took a few pictures but none of us look that great so I'm not even posting them. After the dinner, we all cried because we're an emotional bunch. Viola irritated us sometimes but after all, she was our friend, and someone we saw every single day. Anyway, we're going to keep in touch with her and she's thinking about having a pool party once she gets settled into her apartment or a house warming party.

Work is great. I've been working 3+ days a week which is nice considering my dad is still unemployed and I have bills to pay. Cynthia is thinking about having me work 4 or 5 days a week starting the fall which would be really great because not only would I make a shitload of money but I'd have full benefits like paid vacation, sick days, etc. I'd be exhausted all the time but it's worth it, really, especially if I'm trying to save up for SFSU or UCB.

Things with Jose aren't so good. We haven't been talking much this past month and just having problems. Yesterday I finally sent him a text that I didn't want to talk to him anymore...not for a while anyway. We've been texting back and forth about this and we're supposed to talk tonight but I dunno. I'm sick and tired of him apologizing to me and not showing it. Sorry is just a word that he constantly blurts out because he's an idiot who doesn't realize how much he hurts me. Then everything is great for a while and then back to the usual. He's always too busy to talk and yet I always make time to talk to him no matter how fucking tired I might be. So we'll see how everything goes.

July has been super crazy for me. Very emotional and just all over the place. My grandfather got sick in July almost 2 years ago...the 30th will make it 2 years officially. I miss him terribly. I still remember the day we found out as if it had happened yesterday. I miss Nena too....her snoring, her pretty green eyes...and I don't fucking care if she was a dog. She was my best friend. And grandpa was like the dad I'm never going to have. I miss both of them and I've been crying almost everyday this month because of that. I can't believe it's been almost 2 years already.

Anyway, I'm off. I have to give Kittie his flea meds and do more work related shenanigans.

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