the world could be burning

Apparently school doesn't start until next week. Pfffft.

Dad came home early, and I didn't really want to see him so I spent most of day in my room. My mom called me though and told me that I had to cook the turkey burgers and some other shenanigans so I got my iPod and began to listen to music while in the kitchen (which is where my dad was at the time) and it made me so sad to see him eating by himself there. I still want to cry about it. I'm damn angry at him for everything he has done but it's so depressing seeing him all alone too. I'm so torn between sadness and anger. He has done so much shit to us (mom, brother, and I) and he still is!
He doesn't wash the dishes (I understand if he doesn't wash my mom's and mine right now but my brother leaves his dirty cup and plate in the morning and dad never washes it), help clean the house, he still hasn't taken my mom's car to the mechanic (the radiator has a leak and is consuming water like crazy), he doesn't throw out the garbage, doesn't pick up my brother, hates it when we bother him, doesn't like being asked to pick up my brother from school or martial arts class....he practically doesn't know his kids. He doesn't know my brother's or my favorite foods, doesn't know my brother's clothes sizes (or shoes), never goes shopping with my brother for clothes, leaves him in the movie theater ALONE during the movie while he talks on the phone outside, etc. And the worst part of it he always uses these lame excuses:
1. I'm bipolar.
2. I never had a dad growing up so I don't know how to be one.
Just because he's bipolar doesn't mean he shouldn't deal with the problems that we're having - he runs away from them instead! He had plenty of chances to get help for this problem and never took them. I'm depressive but it doesn't mean I'm going to lay in bed all day and cry!
Fine, he didn't have a dad, I'll give him that, but you know what? He had me first and he had the chance to learn how to be a dad then but he never did. All he was to me was a friend, which is not what I wanted or needed.

I think I'm going to go crazy with all these emotions.

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