I've noticed that many of the websites at Neocities (which tend to be people's personal sites) are retro in style. You'll see things like pixel graphics, bright saturated colors, hand drawn art, and a very informal look and feel. These sites are so different from corporate and ecommerce sites elsewhere on the internet.

It's nice because although the look is retro, the info on the sites and the energy there gives a very young look. It's nice. Probably, if I hadn't wandered over to Neocities I wouldn't have seen this particular style. A lot of the personal sites have 88x31 buttons somewhere on it. Not on the main home page usually, but on the "about me" page. People are using these to promote causes/software/things they care about. Some people are making collections of these buttons to have as many as possible, even if they don't necessarily identify with the button's point of view.

Seeing retro style with a ton of energy is kind of an interesting mix. I'm wondering if this is a style that will ever make its way into mainstream corporate sites. Obviously not as its main design, but I'm wondering if we'll see accents that add a young energetic vibe to a corporate site instead of a lot of the "millenial-style" design trends of gold accents, marble, etc that beset so many of the e-commerce sites and make them look the same.

I'm also wondering if Neocities is the main place where retro design rules right now. Or if there are other spaces on the internet I'm not aware of which have that too. It's nice in the sense that it feels untouched by AI and by "big tech", which again can make everything look too same-ish.

This brings me to another point to ponder: is big tech trying very hard with their design to avoid looking "big tech"-ish? If so, they probably pay their designers a ton to do that (or they use AI and destroy the environment etc etc to do it). Either way, they probably sink a lot of resources into trying to look unique and different - and fail. Whereas individual people on Neocities are managing with relative ease to create something wonderful and unique that really sets them apart.

There are no English words deep or dark enough to describe the utter sliding downwards of hope, like a stripper down a pole who just broke her stilleto heel, like milk spilt in slow motion on the floor by a terrified kid who was shaking in the first place from something you dont want to know, like honey down a stick not realizing the bees are now angry and coming for you, its all the same. Its slow motion bullshit and there is a longing for the PLAY button to be pushed since its been on SLOW FAST FORWARD, all of it. Yet there is a fear because when it breaks, it breaks for good. Theres no putting the milk back, the honey back, the heel fixed. 

I have crawled through broken glass every single day and night and every nightmare in between waiting, hoping that my son was okay, that he didnt forget me, that he still loved me, that he was going to be there when the horrible bad people lifted the OBNOXIOUSLY ILLEGALLY OBTAINED PFA. I waited like a princess going to be coronated QUEEN, scared to death, in the most beautiful garments in the world, yet it didnt matter, cuz in the thousands of faces in the crowd, there was only one who she looked for and saw everywhere she turned.

Oh this crystalline world like in the movie 'Frozen'' in my minds eye, That was me. I sacrificed EVERYTHING to get back with him, only to find out he hates me, Which caused me to do the very thing that started all this in the first place. And I drank. I cant do this. ALL I WANTED WAS TO COME HOME but to have such in your face terrible hostility verbally towareds me day after day after day, with no way out, up and down and everywhere its just so hard to keep the light on, to keep hope alive its a twinkling light that is slowly getting dimmer with each pulse of light, praying both that someome will save me, and that they will let me go because they would be better off if this illness consumes me. 

All Id have to do is stop taking this medicine and it would be a one way trip. BUT NO I HAVE FOUGHT MY WHOLE LIFE TO STAY ALIVE. WHY SHOULD I GIVE  UP NOW? THE PERPS WANT ME BLINDED AND DEAD AND I WONT BE THAT PERSON. 

But her voice keeps whispering softly to me, and its just harder to resist because the one thing I have thats good in my life keeps treating me like shit and hating me. I can almost see her face beyond the veil. And somehow their hurtful words here fade. I wont give up. But God something has to change NOW. EVERYTHING I WENT TH RU WILL NOT BE FOR NOTHING. 

It's been almost half a year since you decided to take your madness public. Cost me a couple of friends, not unexpected, but only a couple. What did it benefit you? Because from where I'm sitting, all it did was clue everyone else in to how far you'd gone off the deep end. Oh, and lost you a number of friendships too. And for what? You're still terrified of your own shadow. You're still trapped in your own house. Your marriage is deteriorating, because you can't find it in yourself to lift a fucking finger. People are forgetting who you once were, and aren't all too impressed by what you've become. And you've completely wrecked any affection or regard I might have had for you. 

The day may come, I suppose, when you find the right doctor, the right medication, the right whatever, and your head may clear and you might turn an eye towards repairing your wreckage.You might even be so bold, so "strong" as to come knocking on my door. You know me better than almost anyone, or at least you did once. You know how importatnt the idea of forgiveness is to me. But before you knock on that door, there's two things you ought to know:

   1) I've already forgiven you. I'm sad about the choices you made, sad to see you so forcibly eject yourself from so many lives, but I bear you no ill will, no malice. You hurt me badly. I forgive you.

   2) I am incapable of imagining circumstances under which I might be willing to trust you ever again. You bought yourself a one-way ticket out of my life. I wish you well, I hope you find peace and healing. Do it without me.

There's also a nonzero chance that, having had no response from me, you'll become further irate and irrational and launch another attack of some sort. Should you be so moved, say whatever you like about me. If it meets the legal standards for libel, defamation, or slander, you'll be hearing from my attorney, and we'll let the lawyers figure it out. Still no direct contact, as you requested.

But if you ever, EVER, malign my wife, or the man responsible for you having a fucking home in which to live? That'd be a mistake from which I doubt you'd recover. So just don't. They did nothing but show you love and kindness, and you spat in their faces already. Don't compound that mistake.

It's funny. You loftily instructed me to "not stalk you online". That was your ex, not me. I wouldn't have the first idea how to do so. You, on the other hand, DO have those skills. So leave a comment, if you happen to find this. 

And then move along.

This is the last time I will ever bring this up and I DO MEAN I WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN. Going to make this simple. We both have soul contracts. We knew each other before. We have so much in common, yet are different too. I cant help my feelings for you, because its a SOUL thing to me, plus I know why we are connected on the inside. I know you care about me, yet are ' straight ' Tho I would never ask you to be monagamous because of that. But I refuse to spend my life pining for you lol. Im going to ask you a question, and I need an answer. In your perspective and your soul and heart, is there anything for me that goes beyond friendship, because if there is never a chance then I am going to let you go. I know what is supposed to be, but I cant and wont force you to see it. I RESPECT your decisions. I can be an asshole and am dark and too intense and deep. BUT I AM REAL. And that is rare. I love you. No matter what. xoxoxo

I play the Sims 2, 3 and 4... on occasion.. mostly I play the Sims 2, and 3 cos they lag a lot less than the Sims 4... which on my sister's computer is basically a 🥔.. lags horribly.

So here it is.. the Cox Legacy which is a Sims 3 story.

Sammy

I don't know if y'all know of this 1970's tv show. I recently discovered it.

Apparently it's a coming of age thing. I would have watched it had I not been a mere child at the time of filming, (1977-1978 I was 3-4 years old...) I watched this episode, I liked it. I found it funny and endearing. :D

Tomorrow, after Julie's appt with diagnostic imaging, we are headed to Pennington's to get some unmentionables for Bees, and go to Tim Horton's for supper. Woohoo!

Sammy

People in a relationship usually experience different stages, like ambiguity, sweet, plain and run-in period. I really don't think I have ever had any sweet times in the relationships. Most of the time, it is a plain relationship. I wouldn't expect a hot or roaring love. I long for a plain and sweet connection. You don't have to do anything earthshaking to me or us. Little romantic things are enough. Long-term care for each other is more requisite. Apparently, it is not easy for him to thoroughly get into my life. Actually, I may not have my own life yet.

What do you think of our relationship? Which stage does it come to? No more sharing, no more effective communication. It may lead us to  treat our connection as chore or routine. Is keeping in touch everyday really hard? If the answer is yes, it proves that the two individuals are two separate entities.

Just think of it as withdrawl reaction.