Meeting with the adoptive parents.

04/24/2010

Please ask to be added if you want to view the photo updates. The doctor appointment. I had invited the adoptive parents to the doctor appointment with me, so they could hear the baby's heartbeat.
I stepped off the elevator, and the adoptive father was waiting for me.

I apologized for being late (I had misplaced my keys) and went up to let the secretary know I had arrived.

The nurse came to get me, and said that the adoptive parents could stay for the heartbeat, but then they had to wait in the waiting room when my doctor went to talk to me about my tests and my exam.

I laid down on the table, and apologized for my stomach because of all the strech marks (some people can find the look of stretch marks revolting), and the adoptive mom quickly said that it was okay. Her sister and the adoptive father's sister both got them.

When the nurse put the gel and little listening thing on my stomach, and you could hear his heartbeat, the adoptive mom broke out into a grin, and the adoptive father kind of laughed and then smiled.

I had about the same reaction. When I first heard his heartbeat, I laughed a little bit because it didn't sound like what I thought it would, and then I cried.

A few days afterward, I felt bad for making them drive all the way to Grand Haven just to listen to the baby's heartbeat.
I knew before that the adoptive mother was involved in both her and the adoptive father's sister's pregnancies, so this wasn't new to her at all.
She probably thought it was cool, but just another heartbeat.
Except I would hope that they would think "This is our little baby's heartbeat."

My dad told me that they are probably happy that I invited them, and that I'm striving to make this experience as much of mine, as theirs.

Dinner with the adoptive parents. After the doctor appointment, I headed out to dinner with the adoptive parents, and we spent a lot of time talking.

I learned a lot about them, and their family.
It was comforting that they both had a really good sense of humor, and can joke around with each other.

I learned that they did have a woman they know come up to them in the past, and tell them that she wanted to give up her baby to them, if they wanted to take it.
They wern't sure because the woman only came to them if she wanted something; like money; and sure enough, she told them that she changed her mind as she got later into her pregnancy and informed them that she was keeping the baby.

She did tell them that she would be a surrogate for them, but in the state of Michigan, the surrogate has all the rights to the baby, even though it wouldn't have her DNA. So, they opted to pass.

The adoptive mom seems to have worries about the adoption.

Since all of us haven't gone through this process before, I think that we all have our worries and doubts.

I think she is worried most about the possibility of me either taking the baby back (which is completely understandable), or me wanting to see the baby and it getting out of hand. (Which I told her that I do not want to see him after the hospital stay.)
She also asked if I would want to hold the baby, and I told her I would.
My family would also want to hold the baby.
I went to see the adoption counselor today, and learned that once I sign the papers in court saying that I am making the adoption legalized, the adoptive parents can cancel everything, and take the baby without giving me any pictures or updates.
This scares the crap out of me. This is my biggest worry.

I would be purely devestated, and I'm not sure on what I would do.
I would be lost and scared and worrying about him for the rest of my life.

And the thing that doesn't help is-I don't trust people what so ever. I never have and I never will.

I'm thinking that during the next visit with the adoptive parents, I'm going to ask them to lay all their worries out on the table.
Then I'm going to lay my worry out on the table.

That way, we all can be on the same page, and none of us will lose any sleep. Thanks for visiting.