I may have him Monday.

I know it has been a long time since I updated; but holy pete it has been a stressful week for me.
A lot of unecessary running around because the doctor wanted this or that, and even if I had an appointment in the morning, she would have me drive back into town to pick something up from the lab, and drive back home. Then drive back into town again the next day and drive back home, even if I didn't have an appointment. Most of the time, I had to race there to make it in before they closed up the office.

I also was told Thursday that I am on bed rest until Monday because my blood pressure is so high (imagine that. I wonder why.) and when I go in for my Non Stress Test, if my blood pressure isn't right, then I'll be having the baby that same day via the c-section.

I don't understand it. I'm supposed to relax and calm down after they told me all this, and they expect me not to think about it or to get upset or stressed.

But I'm not prepared.
I'm doing better today, and am feeling better about this, but I seriously thought my doctor didn't like me at all (the doctor's nursing staff is the saddest bunch. All frowns and unhappiness when I walk in.) and the only way my doctor could get rid of me and my government insurance butt is to make me have this baby by causing me stress so they have an excuse.

My adoption counselor said this isn't the case, who could not like me (there is a lot of people that don't though), but I still have the thought in the back of my mind.
I just told everyone that if he is ready to come out, then I am ready for him to come out.
I just don't want someone to jepordize his health because they don't want to deal with me or see me anymore.
Like I told my adoption counselor and mom, I don't want him to not be ready, come out squinting in the light and thinking "Put me back in. What are you doing? I'm not ready!"

I had invited the adoptive mother to come with me to the ultrasound and the NST (Non Stress Test) and doctor appointment.

She met me there, and talked with me about the color they are thinking about painting the room, and she told me about the outfit she bought to bring the baby home in.
She is unsure if she wants the room to be a green or a blue, and she showed me the blanket pattern her mom is planning on making.

I was really excited to hear about the nursery and the clothes she bought.
It makes it actually easier for me to hear it, because then I feel like I'm talking to a friend who is pregnant and is planning.

The adoptive parents are told not to buy anything or have a baby shower until the court papers are signed and the baby is officially theirs, but she said she cheated and went out on a baby shopping spree lol.
She bought a bunch of shirts and onesies, and little socks for him. And she seemed so excited.
All this week too, she said the adoptive father spent most of it getting the room ready. Which is good, because she said they will be ready by Monday if they need to be.

We went out to breakfast after the ultrasound, and I asked if she had any worries about this whole thing.
I think she does, maybe, but she didn't voice them.
I did say I was nervous I wouldn't get any updates, and she told me that I would be getting updates, I didn't have to worry about that.
And if there was any problem with the semi-open adoption, they wouldn't sever ties with me. They would want to work through the adoption agency to make things right.

The ultrasound went really well!
We got 7 pictures, instead of just one.
The baby looks like he is going to have some chubby cheeks. He looks so cute in the ultrasounds.

We also got a picture of his fist, just a small fist. And a picture of his man parts was taken.
The adoptive mom asked if he was still a boy, and so the ultrasound tech found his man parts, took a picture and labeled them.
I...don't think I'm going to be putting that picture in the scrapbook lol.

I didn't realize how rude some people are too the adoptive parents. I guess the adoptive mom was warned that people might not treat her or her husband nicely.
The nurse at the doctor's office (the particular nurse isn't a happy lady ever) took a look at the adoptive mother, seriously looked her up and down, and said "Oh, hi."
The adoptive mother said to me after the appointment "I don't think she liked me..."
I told her I didn't think the nurse liked me either because she treats me the same way.

My blood pressure was sky high (at 146/91) and the nurse tsked at me, and I had to be escorted up to the birthing unit by the adoptive mother and two nurses.

Me and the adoptive mother had to spend two and a half hours in a hospital room, just sitting there, while I was hooked up to a machine to monitor his pulse and blood pressure.

It felt exactly like I had a friend with me, sitting in the room, keeping my company.

The adoptive mom had to take me home after the appointment, since I wasn't able to drive.
It was weird because we only met each other a short time ago.

Monday might be the day when I go in.
Today seems like a day to relax, and not think about losing something that is inside of me.