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An
Unconventional
Emotionalism.

by [SHANNON].

previous entry: and i find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad.

next entry: sometimes perfection can be perfect hell.

the story left untold is better than you know.

12/05/2009



Currently:
[Tick Tock:] 1117pm
[Ends In Y:] Friday
[Munching:] Nothing
[Slurping:] Nothing
[Not Naked:] A Rocket to the Moon shirt & MSU jogging pants
[Air Pollution:] Sugarcult: Memory
[Chit-Chatting:] Jena
Scream Me A Love Song.
I don't mean too. I don't want to either, but regardless of what I continually tell myself, I can't help, but fancy him. It's for all the reasons Lynette said we should get married. It's because of the contentment I feel when I'm around him. It's like I've been this puzzle with this piece missing and he's that missing piece. It's the feeling I get when he touches me or holds my hand. It's the way that when it's us and everyone else, it's really just us. It's the fact that I know a lot of his flaws and faults and they only make me want to learn them all. I want to watch his hair turn gray or disappear. I want to watch his wrinkles grow and become more defined. I want to watch him lose his "swagger," but still be able to make me melt by looking into my eyes.

Unfortunately, this is something that will never happen. None of the things I listed will. He and I meant to be anything more then we are. Our worlds are different and his standards are too high. Even though I've accepted this, it doesn't mean my mind and heart don't get carried away sometimes. I think it's because I'm secretly a hopeful and hope things'll be different one day. I mean, how can all the things I said be true, but be nothing? I don't fool myself into thinking his actions mean anything. I know they do not; however, the way he makes me feeling without trying to make me feel anything is getting harder to ignore.

Shannon




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previous entry: and i find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad.

next entry: sometimes perfection can be perfect hell.

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never is a heavy word.

[Birrrdy|0 likes] [|reply]

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