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An
Unconventional
Emotionalism.

by [SHANNON].

previous entry: because there's nothing that i wouldn't do to hold on to you.

next entry: we found love in a hopeless place.

you are what you leave.

10/10/2011



I wish people came with a manual, a breakdown of what they mean and don't mean, an explanation of the things they say and don't say, a step-by-step guide to understanding them. I wish honesty was held in higher regard than lying.

I hate not knowing what I mean to a person. I hate believing that I care more for a person than they'll ever care for me. I hate being lied to. I hate not being trusted.

If you trust someone, if you care about them, why would you choose to intentionally leave them out of part of your life? No matter how small or how big, why leave them out? Why choose not to include them? Why make them doubt, once again, their value to you? When you care about someone, when you value a persons worth, everything about them is worth knowing, is something you want to know, is something they should want to share. What happens if they hesitate? What if they just choose not to tell you at all? Does that make you not important to them? What do you do when you confront them about what they've hid from you, and they deny it? Are you supposed to assume they didn't tell you, and are continuing not to tell you, to protect you? Or are they just a liar that you should no longer trust? Are you supposed to accept their denial? Are you supposed to believe that there's really nothing to tell, even though others have told you there is something to tell? I understand that you shouldn't believe anything until you hear it from the "horses" mouth, but how do you ignore what you've been told? How can you ignore a statement made by someone who has no reason to lie to you? Who gains nothing by lying to you?

If you genuinely care about someone, if you truly value the existence of someone in your life, why would you keep secrets? Why would you lie? Why would you want to devalue the importance of your relationship with that person?

Shannon




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previous entry: because there's nothing that i wouldn't do to hold on to you.

next entry: we found love in a hopeless place.

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Secrets and lies are very strange things. People lie, sometimes for no reason in the person's eyes that they lie to.... But in their eyes, they are not lying. Keeping the truth away from people is much the same, and many do not understand that. It creates so many questions and doubts in the minds of the people being lied to that it can literally tear people apart. Some people hold honesty at the very top of their priorities in life, as others see it as just something they give to certain people. It's sad, but it's true. Unfortunately, it is easier to lie to most. In my opinion, lying is harder. Once you lie, you have to continue to lie and remember the original lie in order to compound the lie and eventually live it. It makes no sense when you could just tell the truth and be done with it. I've been living my life in an honest, even brutally honest.... way. It may make people mad, but if the truth hurts.... it's working, right?

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