i need to feel it

01/21/2010

i need to feel it.
i need to feel it.

i need the cold in my bones.
i need to be utterly alone.

i need to end up on your door step.
i don't even know where you live.
i need to talk.

i need to feel silence.
i need to feel the broken.
the pieces.

i need  s p a c e .

i need to be able to write again.
to write poetry furiously,
poured out on napkins and journal paper.

i need to get hurt&i need to learn.

say something.
what do you want me to do?
i know you see
the way i look at you.

i need to feel it.

i need to sleep alone.
i need something more than this alcohol.

i need to leave.
& i need to stay.

i want to pour myself out all over this city,
my essence in the rain sewers,
spread so thin that i am everywhere & yet
& yet i do not really exist.

i want to blend in
& yet i need to be something more

i need to stay on track
and yet i need so badly to go off on my own journey
into the city to feel the strangers
i need to learn how to love again
i need to feel it.



((darling, i can't feel it))