i need to feel it.
i need to feel it.
i need the cold in my bones.
i need to be utterly alone.
i need to end up on your door step.
i don't even know where you live.
i need to talk.
i need to feel silence.
i need to feel the broken.
the pieces.
i need s p a c e .
i need to be able to write again.
to write poetry furiously,
poured out on napkins and journal paper.
i need to get hurt&i need to learn.
say something.
what do you want me to do?
i know you see
the way i look at you.
i need to feel it.
i need to sleep alone.
i need something more than this alcohol.
i need to leave.
& i need to stay.
i want to pour myself out all over this city,
my essence in the rain sewers,
spread so thin that i am everywhere & yet
& yet i do not really exist.
i want to blend in
& yet i need to be something more
i need to stay on track
and yet i need so badly to go off on my own journey
into the city to feel the strangers
i need to learn how to love again
i need to feel it.
((darling, i can't feel it))
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