So, I just don't know and I need input. How do I know if I'm in love? (Cause I don't want that shit to happen.) I guess I'll list some bullets of how I feel about him.
1. I think about him all the time - usually sex related stuff - and that physically makes me giggle
2. I get extremely frustrated if he doesn't text me back, doesn't have time for me, or doesn't invite me to things
3. I also get frustrated when he spends time with other girls (not everyone, but some girls)
4. I feel like he is my only purpose in life (overly dramatic, I know) - I feel down when I'm not with him, and if I know I can't see him.
5. Right now, I just want to say "I'm done" with this whole friendship because I know it's not going anywhere and he will never have adequate time for me
6. I'm starting to "play games" in order to keep him interested; meaning like now I'm on this binge of "not texting" him again because I want him to text me for once; why am I the instigator all the time?
7. When he's in a good mood and if we have a great time together (usually meaning great sex) I feel like I'm on cloud 9.
8. When he pays attention to me in general I feel like I'm on cloud 9.
9. I don't feel comfortable doing doing anything gross around him (burp, etc.) cause it's not attractive (with my other friends I don't care - with my ex I didn't care)
10. He's the first real guy I actually fantasize about and get turned on by (besides like, famous people)
11. I don't want to be in a relationship with him (I think), I like that we are keeping this secret from everyone.
12. I think I do want more of an emotional response from him.. but I think that goes along with getting attention from him.
So I've summed up that I'm addicted to him; been saying that for weeks. So for newcomers who don't know the situation (I'm posting this one entry for everyone): I've been sleeping with this guy for 3 months or so, and he also happens to be my best friend of 10 years. My boyfriend of 9 years broke up with me in April, and that's when the attraction to my best friend started. We both realized we were attracted to each other, pretty much. So yeah, what do you think? Is this love? Is this temporary obsession? Or is this a replacement for what I lost?
Also, I'm "friends only" - so ask me if you wanna be added if you're interested in reading! |
Loading...
