Subject: Moment of clarity....
Dude. I have been living under a delusion. The delusion is that I am god. I rani into someone I know who has cancer today good guy super community active positive cat. Unfortunately he never thought he would die and now he is faced with it. Somewhere in his head he had figured it out much like me. Somewhere in his head he thought he knew all the answers much like me. But he is faced with the humbling reality that all roads lead to the graveyard. A reality I have been avoiding for years myself. Life is a tremendously humbling thing.
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I’m going to sit back and say something that is going to hit you hard in both your heart and your brain. You may not like this, but the truth is not within the moment of clarities but what you do with them.
It is nice that you had this moment of clarity but haven’t you had these before?
Didn’t you have one when your mother passed away?
Didn’t you have one at some point when you came down from being high as a kite?
Didn’t you have one at your job some years ago, when you found that client dead in his room?
These moments don’t have to be bad-negative moments.
Didn’t you have one the moment you realized that Sally was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
I am sure there are a zillion more examples of both positive and negative experience in your life that you can come up with.
To quote a bon jovi song “no one gets out of here alive”
I don’t know what life is going to bring me. There are a lot of things in this world I know I can not do or control. However. I don’t know if I will ever find a counseling job or if this really is the field for me. I don’t know if we are going to be hit with a nuclia bomb today. I don’t know if I’m going to hit a lottery today. I don’t know if baseball will go on strike again. I don’t know if I will find the love of my life on opening day.
However, that which I can control, I am trying to do. The short term, when I am finished with this email, I am going to do something that I have control over. I am going to work out for the 48th day in a row. I know I have complete control over that.
The long term, although a bit gray, I keep hope to.
I know I have told you this before. When I was a freshman in hs, I wrote down 3 “life time goals” that I wanted to achieve. Maybe to the rest of the world they could be seen as just dreams coming from a 14 year old but to me, these are goals which I want to complete in my life and I know that if I do, I will have lived a full and happy life.
1. To ern a doctorate degree
Think about that. How crazy is that coming from a 14 year old?
2. To visit all major league stadiums
At the point I wrote these, I had only been to Fenway Park.
3. To get married
At 14, I didn’t even have my first kiss yet.
I’m trying to live my life with little regrets, take advantage of opritunities, and to quote yet another bon jovi song “you got to live before you die”
I am fortunate and lucky
And my friend, so are you
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