The last 6 weeks seems like it's been nothing but negative news from my life.
Tuesday I went to work and something just didn't feel right
I put my bag down on the chair I sit in and just like every work day, I go down stairs to say hi to my coworkers. One of my coworkers was in one of the officers so we chatted for a bit and she told me that Joyce, someone who is way up in the higher archy in my computer called and wants to have a staff meeting. I thought this was a bit strange but ok and then the doorbell wrang and my coworker got it. It was the clinical coordinator. She said that she would like to see us in the office. So my coworker and I along with the coordinator went into the office. She gave us news that neither my coworker or I was prepared for.
She said, as you know, Dana (my boss) was on vacation last week. She may not be coming back.
You know she has been having personal issues. I know you guys were very close to her. She may be back but we don't know for sure. It's up to her. Were you planning on having a meeting? I said that I didn't have anything planned yet but I do now. She asked if she wanted me to tell the residents the news or did I want her to. I told her that I will with you guys there to give me support. She said that sounds good.
So we got a group together, all except one resident was home.
I started by asking how they're doing.
I then said that I have news, and I'm afrade it's not so good. You know how Dana was on vacation last week? well, she maynot be coming back. Dana maynot be coming back. Yes there is a possibility she will return but we don't know if or when.
The clinicle coordinator picked me up because she say that I gave it my all to sy tht much and she said that Dana has been having personal issues The residents asked other questions but I wasn't listening cause they weren't directed towards me.
My boss Dana is the best boss anyone could ask for. She rarely spoke as if she was above us and was always interested in our opinions. It seemed that no matter what I did it was always the right thing or she was complimenting on the work we did do.
She had personal things she was dealing with along with the guilt she felt for not being around when the incident happened almost 3 years ago because she was on maternative leave. With the trial going on, it just crumbled her.
I don't want to speculate, I just hope and pray that she gets the help she needs.
I have been working for her for 4 years and 8 months. That is a lot of time spent with her. We have been through a lot together.
Ithas bee nothing bad negative ews in my life except for baseball.
From the Karen pain, to the stolen gift card, the the cancer scare, my twin passing out for reasons we originally didn't know why, my flight insurance being denied and all the court anxiety and the continuation of it, and family friend's grandmother who passed away and going to the wake and the funeral and now my boss just leaving.
I know that noone wants to hear this, but I wish I had Karen to turn to to make me smile and laugh but I don't and I don't have anyone to replace her.
I feel so alone and lonely in this life.
I feel so pathetic when I try to talk to someone about any of this because it seems as either someone has something even worth to deal with or they don't care and tell me I just have to suck it up and move on or that it's no big deal.
There is another issue that keeps coming back to me, keeps haunting me but I wont bother writing about it. "You don't know how it feels, to be me" (tom Petty)
I just want something to go my way in life. I want some direction of where I'm going.
I want a fulltime job and a special lady.... or just a lady.
soy, un parador, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me. |
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