LaShana Tova & more than just friends?

09/18/2012

Lashana Tova to any of my fellow Jews.
Sunday night to Tuesday sundown is the Jewish high wholly day of Rosh Hashana. The Jewish New year.
It's a time to reflect on the past year and to ask the lord for forgiveness for any wrong which we have done in hope for a happy and healthy new year.

Last night we had 17 people at the dining room table to selebrate with us. Friends, family, and 4 generations at that.
There is a friend of my father, his name is Hal. He had last his father last year and lost his only brother a few months ago. My mom thought it would be nice if we invited Hal and his wife to join us. (Hal has been in a deep depression for most of the last few months, since his brother passed away) He absolutely loved it. My crazy family, the Jewish home cooking and the customes.
My home is always opened to all to come and selebrate. When there is 20 people, my mom cooks for 30.

The last year was a blast and I hope this coming year finds me in more new stadiums and a new job and a loving, lasting relationship.
*** *** ***

speaking of relationships, I'm confused...but in a good way.

You all remember Karen, the lady with the angelic voice? I first met her on here 9 years ago and just like many of you, I have been a great friend to her over the years. As a quick bit more about her...She lives in Indiana, she lives with a boyfriend and his mother. She wants to be an art theripist but finance is holding her from going for a grad degree..

We had a aim conversation that I would like to share in part.
We were talking about her bf and another guy who she had a crush on who was moving to Texas and she was writing him a real old fassion letter. I had asked her the counseling question, on a scale 1-10, 5 being friends and 10 being I couldnt live without, where she would put those two guys. After she told me her response, I sarcasticly said "and Jonathan is probably a 3"

K: *nudge* more like 7
J: 7? hmm that's pretty good considering we've never met.
K: you mean a lot to me, regardless of whether we've met or not
J: just for the record (is anyone keeping record around here?) I dont know what the number would be for me about you because I never let my heart-mind go
"there" (if you know what I mean)
K: *blink* ....sorta?
(we went back to talking about the other guys and then...)

J: I do want to go back up to where I said that I dont know mhw much I love you because i never let my heart-head go there
K: *Hug* ok if you were to let your heart-head go there...what would it be?
J: (here is what I wrote first before I saw your q) I see you as an untouchable. you have a bf, you live far away, I have no doubt in my mind from my view, that we would live happily ever after but I cant see me through your eyes, I cant just walk over to your place, and you still have a bf.
J: you can comment to that or just nod before I answer your q
K: *nod nod*
J: if I were to let my heart and head go there. if I could imagine how we would live, (ok, maybe... I slightly did that) ... you know, that is a very big q. hmmmm I know that I would care for you, to the best of my abilities. I would love you, mind, body and soul, and with every moment I would live.
K: *slight blush*
J: we would live a very simple life but we would both be happy
and I would remind you every day how much I love your angelic voice
K:
J: we would have one child, doesnt matter the gender, and we would live in MA but I would make sure you with or without me, would get home at least 4 times a year and your fam can come out and visit you whenever. I am sure they are good people
K:
J: so, that's a little bit of if I let my heart and mind "go there" your thoughts about what I wrote?
K: beautiful
J: I wasnt talking about the woman in your mirror
K: neither was i lol
J: she is beautiful though
K: if you say so
J: hmmm have you ever thought about me in that way at all? have you ever thought of what it would be like if we were together?
K: *nod* i have
J: *pleasent surprized look...*
K: *smile* what?
J: *plesant, surprised look*
K: lol i got that...why the surprised look?
J: Like I said before, I see you as an untouchable. I never could imagine despite all we have gone through, that you truly cared about me as anything more than a good friend. Can you give me a peek of what you see from your eyes when you see me?
K: *smile* i see a man who has always been there for me despite any circumstances, willing to listen even if it hurts him. I see someone who is loving and caring.
K: i see someone who i could spend my life with if the circumstances allowed it
i see a man who sees the beauty and kindness in others

J: All I ever wanted, was a woman who I could love and who would love me. Who I could be silly and playful and watch my Disney movies with, and who would go to family’s houses and watch sports and see the crazy jonathan, and see me when I’m sad, mad, happy, or wicked excited. And some how, I know that I can
be all that, with, you
K:
J: when I was over my bro's house yesterday, watching the pats game, I thought about you and what it would be like if you were there. and I imagined you would be playing with the dogs and the baby and offer to get drinks if someone wanted it, and sit next to me cuddled up with your head on my shoulder.
J is that too much into my heart - head?
K: not at all
J: of course it's not. that's why I love you. I can say anything in the world... even if I make you blush at times

K: *nod* *blush*
J: I didnt say anything! *nudge*
K: lol
J: So can you ever remember a time we did fight-argue-disagree?
K: ..... hmmm i cant really think of a time
J: dont think too hard lol
J: and you know after the last time we talked on the phone, my mom asked who it was and I told her it was you. she said do you two always talk that much? I said the only reason we ever get off the phone is because we have to go.
K: lol true

Thoughts? questions?