I am banging my head off the wall, so before I hurt myself, I figured I would write.
I just got off the phone with my best friend John. I just told him that I am going out on Wednesday with Steph but that is probably going to be all.
John and his wife Kat have extremely little in common and he feels that is how all relationships are-should be.
You shouldn’t date someone you work with...
"what did you do at work today? Oh, that's right. Never mind"
Next topic
"what did you listen to on the radeo? The same station I did? Oh. Never mind"
"so let's just sit in the dark and not talk"
I told him that she enjoys nature things. She likes sight-seeing and taking her dog for walks to parks and people watching.
Obviously, that is boring to me.
He said after laughing "I hate to break it to you but most people like to do things that involve visual things"
I am sure everyone enjoy doing some sight seeing etc, but not like she does.
She's going to Arizona herself to go visit some red rock or red desert or something and other parks-sights.
I told him that I asked if she wanted to go to the movies. She said that she is not really a movie person.
Knowing I don’t read books, he asked if she reads books.
I said that I didn’t know. It didn’t come up in conversation so I didn’t think so. He said that she probably does. She doesn’t sit in the dark doing nothing every night.
I told him the one thing that we did have in common that I felt we clicked on was talking about Judiism. He bust into laughter and said something like "so what did you talk about? The bible?" ... "You should not bring up religion till at least the 5th date." He poked fun of that idea of talking about religion for about 3 solid minutes.
I told him that it is important to me and it is important to her too. (He is not religious at all and if it was up to him he would not have got married in a church)
He goes "ok, so you two talk about being Jewish. Mean while you are both Jewish so that conversation must have lasted all of about a minute before you said ok, now what?" Which, is not true at all. It was the longest conversation we had all night.
He went on to make fun of jdate.com Which, I have tried but found it to be too expensive considering I wasn’t finding any dates.
I said, don’t you want to be with someone who likes the same type of music that you do so you can sing along with them in the car or go to a concert with them? (already knowing the answer)
"NO, we listen to one station that we have compromised on and I cant wait till she gets out so I can put on my music. Relationships is all about compremises"
I agree that there should be some compromising but not on an every day-everything-basis.
It also wasn’t helping that his wife Kat was in the room with him putting her two cents of sarcastic comments in.
After a 10 minute phone call of him putting down everything that I enjoy and everything I believe in and telling me that I should just marry myself
(this is nothing new)
His view
Date someone who you have little in common with so you can share-experience new things and it will never get boring.
My view
Date someone who you have a lot in common so you can enjoy doing things together and you can understand what they are talking about. Then have a few hobbies you don’t have in common so you can have a "guys-lady's night" Or hanging out with your own friends.
I have learned and have preached to my clients and to well, I guess anyone
"everyone is an indivisual. What works for one person may not work for someone else."
Putting that aside, what do you think?
Head ache bound
Jonathan
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