I am so very tired. Tired of the fighting. Tired of the anger and hatred. Tired of the faking. Tired of pretending everything is okay. Tired of caring about people who don't care about me. Tired of giving my everything, and getting nothing in return. Tired of being a disappointment. A failure. A screw up. Tired of this life. Of what I have become. I could argue that point and say my life has made me this way, but that would be a lure, and honestly I'm tired of those too. I made my choices. None of them were easy, but they were mine to make. My life has never been way, but I do understand there are those who have had it worse. I am tired of defending myself. Fighting for a creature I myself created, a creature I despise. I'm just so tired of feeling. Tired of living. Of waking up every morning and fighting the same battle over every day. It only gets harder with the consequences I face. My choices yet to be made loom over my head like the dark clouds of depression covering my heart. I just want to curl up on the ground, and sink into oblivion. I'm so tired of fighting. I give up. You don't yet understand but soon you will. Just know that with my lady breath I will always love you. I'm sorry...... |
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