>.< Beginning of June | 06/05/2015 |
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~♥ Today I'm Thankful For... Warmer weather.
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Things have been mostly good lately. The Boyfriend and I seem to have passed a hurdle. No longer does he talk about ending things when we argue or seem to react out of fear so much. It's been a couple weeks now so I can breathe a little bit easier. He doesn't get that it's hard for me to just forget that he did that. I don't think women work that way. He gets upset when I bring it up, and I'm not trying to bring up the past, but that is still in the back of my mind every single time we argue. This is something we will have to work through and only time will help. I need to see more and more time pass since he did that. For me, consistent actions are the most important thing. But he keeps working hard to talk through things when we argue and work things out. When I'm upset or having a bad day I'm very used to going home, sending the kiddo to bed, turning off my phone, and having a drink while I process my emotions alone. It's been a challenge for me to have to work through thing and process things around him and my kiddo. He wants to talk through stuff and I want to be alone. I'm working on it though. It's a challenge but this is how healthy relationships are supposed to be. And that is the most important thing.
Last weekend we took the kiddo to our local library for their kick off to summer reading event. She got an awesome Frozen superhero cape and they had a ton of fun activities! She had so much fun with the 2 of us there.  We made oragami bats, bottle cap magnets, had popsicles, met Batman and Batgirl, and my kiddo learned to hula hoop! After that we had lunch with my neighbor friend which was nice. The rest of the weekend was very low key which was nice. I feel we do way too much on the weekend and then afterwards we are so worn out on Monday. This weekend we're taking her to the kids workshop at Home Depot and then doing the Dino museum on the free day. That's it. I don't want to be overwhelmed with activities. I have a hard enough time being away from home all weekend when there's so much I need to get done at home. I'm trying to juggle everything and I feel like not enough is getting done at home because we have so much other things to do.
I'm working full time hours the next month and a half which is good for the money but hard on me as far as even more time I have spent on things. I'm trying to get as much done in the mornings when the kids are watching cartoons because after we do lunch at the park, we spent the rest of the day there. I don't mind because the kids love it, but again it's 5 hours out of my day not spent at home. I'm trying so hard to get stuff sold at my apartment and get it organized, but I feel like I never get enough done. :/ I don't know how my Boyfriend would take it if I said I wanted to spend an extra day at home, he might get hurt because he enjoys time with us so much and we only get to see each other a few days a week.
I just have lot going on in life right now. I'm trying to juggle it all but I don't feel like I'm doing a good job. A lot of people want my time but I just don't have it to give. I'm doing my best but it doesn't feel like there are enough hours in the day or enough time off to do it all. Sigh. At least in July I think I'll have mornings off which will be really nice. As it is I'm getting up at 6am every morning to clean before work, working a 9 hour day, then doing errands and dinner, and then it's bedtime or we have to go to the Boyfriend's. My days go by so fast now. I need more time and less going on.
⊱ ღ Belle Ivy Rose ⊰
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Life is pain. Embrace it. Live it. Feel the thrill of falling and the security of rising. Make the most of every moment. Live and love like you'll never let it go. ♥ ~Me
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