Un-Titled...
Everyone's Asleep. I creep silently, down the stairs, into the kitchen.
As I reach the drawer, I stop, looking around, I take out the knife. Putting it in-to my pocket, I turn around, walk up the stairs again, in-to the bathroom. The water runs in-to the shower, heating up. I stare in-to the mirror one more time, looking at the face that I detest...
Stepping in-to the shower, holding the knife, my hands trembling, I for the last time, lower it to my tender flesh...
As the cold steel makes it's penetration, I wince, at the sight of my own blood, as it starts it's long pattern...Dripping...Running...Bleeding...Agonizingly slow, spiriling down-ward to the clear water, now tainted...It is immiediately washed away, but, I am persistant, this time, un-willing that I should fail, yet in this too...Yes, in this one thing, I will win...
As the cut becomes a constant stream, I sense that my time is running out. I slowly sink to me knees, the un-relentless water stinging...Biting...Tearing...I feel numb, but, strangely liberated...
A peaceful ***Auora*** fills me, yet, I still long to live. The circumstances which drive me to such measures will never change...'You can leave soon! You don't have to stay here forever!', you say, but, you don't understand. My problems are mostly internal. They will folow me wher-ever I go...
No, this is the only way...
As my body, listlessly drops to the tile, I know I must be crying. But, why? This is freedom...
Yet, sobs still attack me. As my breath becomes more shallow, I remember the note that I left for everyone. I hope they aren't angry, and, can try to understand. They don't need me, anyways. They never did...
Heh, I always did care too much what other people thought about me. I wanted someone...ANYONE, to love me...Just to fold me in-to their arms, and, promise that they won't leave me alone...
But, they just couldn't understand the pain that I was in. Now, it is time...As I succumb to the magnetic force of death, I see a light, brighter than any other, suddenly, descends in-to a blackness, deeper than any I'd ever encountered...
Oh, why couldn't you just have loved me, and, saved me from this????????????
My last thoughts are written for all to see...
*But, I Wanted To Live...*...
Running...Tripping...Falling...
The vicious circle never breaks, for variation...
The hope, born af-resh, broken, by the fall...
What happens in between the time...
When we realize that happiness is achievable...
And, when we fall flat on our face, once again, after hoping...
Realizing that hope is false...
Pessimism, takes over positive reality, and, I shudder...
Realizing the penalty for such thoughts...
Soaring...Crashing...Breaking...
The law of gravity shows no mercy...
No relief for my tortured mind...
No new day of peace...
Anger, welling up against the flood-gates of my DISEASED emotions...
Pain...Fear...Trembling...
My mind races, as the trembling starting in my hands, spreads to my entire body, my fingertips feebly grasping the air, willing someone to be there to catch me...
Trapped against the wall, once again, as you ravage my mind, body, and soul...
Will this tremor ever stop...
As you walk away from me, at last, the full realization of what has just happened hits me with such force, I feel the panic welling up in me...
I now realize that I will never be the same again...
Maybe some-day, that can be a help to my life...
But, in this present state of darkness, even as weak as my mind is, I do know this one thing...
You destroyed me...
*Hugs*... ... ...
Dripping...
Mangled Flesh, inferior, end-lessly falling, in-to fore-ver...
Mask, replaced by mask, new layers built on...
Hours ticking by, as decades...Sitting alone in the agony, of my mind...
Brooding, like the ocean, after light...Darkness envelopes me, as the silent murky, waters sweep over my head, illuminating the moon, across my tear stained face, as I wait for you...
I'm falling...Desperation is fulfilled, as the waves of pain orgasm intensly, over me...I am in excstacy...
As the tears slip down my face...My mind releases...I have let go...I finally let you slip through my fingers, like the softest rose petals...
I love you still...Even as I walk past you with-ought a word...Pretending that I am over you...
You have won...I am crushed...
Bruised...
Forsaken...
And, now...It's over...
I am un-done...
I have fallen...
Ok...Here is the song...Do you think that any-one would be interested in music for it? For any-one that has read any of my stuff, do I have any hope for a singing, song-writing, traveling career? LOL...I really am serious...
'True Colors'...
Now, I see your face again...
(((So clearly)))...
Vs. 1...
I thought that I silenced the memory of what we used to be...
But, now I wake from my dream, and, see that you never really could have cared a-bout me...Be-cause your...
***Chorus***...
True colors, so decieving...
Shining so brightly now...
I look at you...
You have won...
Even in all that you've done to me, baby...
I still find that love for you some-how...
---(((in-side me)))...
Vs. 2...
What is this you've done?
(((I'm alone)))...
Left me with a mess created by you...
I'm crying here...Reaching out to you...
As you turned and, walked away...
Your back to me...
Your walking...
I stare in wonder as I finally see your...
*Chorus*...
What do you all think?...Give opinions on both, please...... ...
|
Loading...