I just spent the past three years of my life getting the crap beaten outta me every other day. But my secret is I think my life was easier when I was there then now. Since then I have been homeless, in the phyic ward and I have never felt so alone in my life. At least getting beat I still had a roof over my head, i was never alone and I thought i was mentally sane.
There's nothing sane about allowing someone to treat you like that. I think getting out of that situation was the best thing you could have done for yourself, and it takes a strong (and very rational) person to do it. You've already made the hardest step that a lot of other people can't. The rest may be a huge inconvenience, but It'll come together in time
There is nothing good about someone beating the shit out of you. It is very hard to get over your hurdles, and I am speaking from experience.
I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy and I know the feeling of feeling scared and inadequate. My mother used to verbally, emotionally and physically abuse me. It took me a long time to get away from all that. Now, I am living on my own with the love of my life.
I still have a lot of demons that I am dealing with as of this day. Just because I am more independent than I was then doesn't mean that I am "all better" I still have those emotional scars I am still trying to deal with. My boyfriend wants me to talk to someone about it.
But I refuse too.
Like everyone else, all I can say is to hang in there. It will get better if you want it too. When you are feeling down like you are now, remember how is was when you were abused. Do you want to do that again?
It
does get better. I was in an abusive marriage several years ago. Life can turn around for you. I also have been in and out of the psych ward... there's not shame in that. You got help..... you have been through hell and that's going to leave not
just physical scars but emotional ones as well and you have got to heal from that. You are not better of in that relationship. NO ONE is better off in a relationship like that. NOBODY deserves to be treated like that. Ever. I have hit rock bottom
but once you hit rock bottom... all you have to do is go up... and you will. Believe you will. You'll be okay. You aren't alone. There is a massive force of women who have been where you are.... we are still here and you can be too. Reach out to
those ones for support. You don't have to feel so lonely. Believe me you don't.
My current husband and I have talked for a couple years now about founding a place where people who have been abused can go so they won't be homeless... I wish
we could just wave a wand and make it happen. But use this online journal as your shelter from the storm and you will make it through it. Believe that. I believe it for you for now. I know you don't. I know exactly how you are feeling. Keep strong
hun. You aren't crazy. It's called PTSD... it happens in situations like this. You will rise above it.
Loading...
There is nothing good about someone beating the shit out of you. It is very hard to get over your hurdles, and I am speaking from experience. 
It
does get better. I was in an abusive marriage several years ago. Life can turn around for you. I also have been in and out of the psych ward... there's not shame in that. You got help..... you have been through hell and that's going to leave not
just physical scars but emotional ones as well and you have got to heal from that. You are not better of in that relationship. NO ONE is better off in a relationship like that. NOBODY deserves to be treated like that. Ever. I have hit rock bottom
but once you hit rock bottom... all you have to do is go up... and you will. Believe you will. You'll be okay. You aren't alone. There is a massive force of women who have been where you are.... we are still here and you can be too. Reach out to
those ones for support. You don't have to feel so lonely. Believe me you don't.