i don't understand why it's so hard for me to let go of my husband's best friend. i'm not in love with this guy, but there's so much chemistry between us that whenever i'm around him, there's constant white noise in my head. there have been so many times where i just wanted to kiss this guy just so i knew if this is straight up lust or if there could be something more there. he's tried more than once to be with me before my husband and i were dating, and i never gave him the chance.
i want to know so bad but i won't put my marriage at risk. i know the consequences that come with cheating and i am not prepared throwing everything away for lust. i just wish the attraction would disappear.
Perhaps it's the "what if" that makes him more appealing. Unfortunately, attraction to others doesn't always end once committed. It also sometimes heightens an attraction to another person you wouldn't otherwise have noticed because you are no longer looking for anything specific. But I am glad you are deciding not to act on your curiosity. Just keep your husband in the back of your mind and don't beat yourself up too much for having very conflicted, human emotions.
The important thing here is that you are not acting on this attraction, so you should pat yourself on the back. I'm assuming there's no way you can kind of, limit the time you're around this guy?
I think it is completely normal to have feelings for someone, even when you're in a relationship. Just because you are committed to a marriage, doesn't mean that your thoughts and actions always have to be about the man you are with. Now, I don't condone cheating, but it's not a crime to have a connection with another man, as long as you dont follow through with the feelings. You made a choice to settle down and marry him, so if you dont plan on leaving him anytime soon, thats the choice you have to live with. I just recently got engaged with a guy that Ive been with for 2 years and that I have a baby girl with. There is a guy I work with that I have the same type of feelings for. He is hilarious, can make me laugh, and I just love being around him because he can turn my shitty day around. I have had thoughts about me and him, but I would never act on them, because I love the man I am with. Sooo, dont beat yourself up about it, it's normal, it happens. You just have to try and push those thoughts out of your brain. No reason to throw away a friendship over it.
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