People like this are never worth your time, sadly. 🙄 My husband's father left them when he was 15. Younger brother 12, younger sister 9. Before that he was essentially a non-person and was more interested in his new “toys” than attend a choir concert, etc. He told me a story about one time the father canceled on them for their movie date. Their mom took them instead—- only to find their father sitting a few seats ahead of them WITH HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND.
My husband says he’s not hurt with his father’s actions, but deep down I think he is.
should is a terrible word. i find it only makes you feel badly and its often not helpful to think you should be this or that. as soon as i gave up trying to be this or that i was much happier.
There isn't anything necessarily wrong with not changing. Unless you're a raging lunatic with shady tendencies, it's fine to stay the same person. That said, perhaps you have changed but not seen it because you're too close to it.
I found that since I've hit my thirties I've accepted my faults, changed the ones I could change, and accepted that I'm just never going to be patient, nor am I going to be able to deal with small talk. There's nothing wrong with that. And there's nothing wrong with not having changed. Some people just know who they are right off the bat. That's a win in my books.
I was thinking the same thing the other day.
But then realised I am actually kind of ok with that as I had been sulking feeling like I wasn't "me" anymore, go figure lol
I find everyone stays essentially themselves. I've reconnected with people I knew from school when I was twelve, and they are still essentially the same as their twelve year old selves. They mature of course, and are more experienced in the world, and so have a bigger perspective, but still the same strengths and flaws and ways of thinking. Even if they completely change their political or religious views, they hold the new views with the same approach/attitude as they held the old ones. They may have more self-awareness about their flaws and limitations, but these don't go away.
Interesting entry. I have to ask which hell you worry you might be going to? Each religion has their own specific version of hell, and actually those ideas of hell formed over many, many years.
Uh, get a job? If it's JUST you and your partner (no kids) and they're the ones bringing in 100% of the money, you don't really have any kind of right to be telling them how to spend it. And if you DO have kids and they're not taking care of those kids, then GET A JOB and get out.
I went through this for much of my marriage. The only thing that finally helped was him reading The Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey. Would he read it if you told him it was important to you?
Do you both have access to the account? If so, set up an automatic transfer to savings once or twice a month in a small amount that won't affect your finances too much. Not having the money readily available in a checking account is a very helpful way to curb excess spending. Most people that are spenders will spend until there isn't anything left to spend. As long as he doesn't make up for it by using a credit card instead, you should be good. If you don't have access to the account, talk to him about setting up automatic transfers in his account.
I have automatic transfers set up twice a month and my bank puts $1 into savings every time I swipe my debit card. And while I don't "build up" much of a savings, I do have it available each month to cover unexpected expenses.
If my husband had an over spending problem, I would talk to him about it. I don't care that he brings home a majority of money, it's household income, not his personal income.
I agree I don't want a child if for some reason I got pregnant and couldn't abort I'd raise it I wouldn't give it away even though I probably wouldn't want to be a mother sometimes that's just what it is
who cares what others think! I'd be happy if just one person loved me, no clue how I would feel having so many people love me. You're lucky. Love can be a wonderful thing and if you're all happy and being honest and trusting with eachother then have at it! Totally support you!!
I think there's more than enough love to go around. People who have more than one child love all their children. People who have more than one sibling love all their siblings. We all have many people in our lives that we love, and who love us in return. I think we just need to develop more "compersion" which is the happy feeling you get when you see someone you love (who also loves you) with someone he or she loves.
Every person brings something unique to the love table. No one should ever feel less. Each person should regard him or herself as a unique, beautiful flower in a whole garden of lovers.
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yayy!
