Back on Wednesday I found a saying... Wait 3 days. No contact, no txts, nothing. If you don't hear from him in 3 days, you mean nothing to him.
So... No contact on Thursday, Friday or Saturday.
Nothing from Mark.
I stupidly txted him on Sunday, exactly 1 week since he stopped talking to me, and 4 full days without me reaching out to him.
I apologized. I said we both made things harder. Never once did I blame him for anything. I used 'we' and 'us' a lot.
Nothing from Mark.
I bought tickets to the Carolina/Buffalo game December 18. I didn't do it to win him back. I did it because I have (had?) faith in us. Luckily I can re-sell them. I will give it months, because I still want to have faith.
I truly mean nothing to him.
I should've listened when he said he was a bad guy.
I should've listened when he said he wanted to leave me alone.
This isn't all his fault.
The signs were there, I just chose to ignore them.
And I am the one getting hurt again. Crying all day, every day. Wishing the hours would pass so I can go to sleep.
I don't want to be at work, because all I want to do is cry. I don't want to be around people.
I don't want to be home, because I'm by myself and all I want to do is cry.
I am so fucking stupid.
Why, God... WHY!? |
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