Well. Well. Well.

06/05/2021

So I've had an interesting week.

My phone is always on silent (no vibrate), so if I get a txt message or if someone calls me, I either need to check every so often, or happen to be by my phone and see it light up.

Tuesday night around 8:30 or so, I happened to glance at my phone and see the screen dimming, so I knew someone had just called me. I assumed it was Mom or Dad about Wednesday's plans. When I looked at it I saw that it was a call from a 925 area code. The previous week I had been getting a lot of spam calls and voicemail's, so I assumed that's what it was. BUT, I also knew it was a CA area code, and Mark popped into my head. Next thing I know I get an alert I have a voicemail. So again, I assume spam, so I dial in and see that it says it's only 7 seconds long.

My finger was hovering over the delete button, getting ready to delete it as soon as I heard the spam message, and instead it said:

"Guess who? I'll give you another call in a little bit. Bye."

Even without him saying his name I knew immediately who it was: MARK.

So now my mind starts spinning. I actually listened to it a second time, because I wasn't prepared the first time and it was so short. I haven't heard from him since December. I sent him an email telling him how it was, and never heard back from him. I figured he either never read it, or he didn't like what I had to say. Whatever. And since he had just gotten in touch with me in December, he knew he had the right number, especially since my voicemail says my name, so he probably figured he didn't have to say who it was and I'd figure it out.

I didn't call him back or txt him right away. I watched some more tv and when I went to bed I sent him a message that I got his voicemail.

So we talked for a bit... He really did read my email. He said he hadn't checked it in a while and just recently read it. So he knows I don't live in Vegas anymore, etc. I told him that he is a drug. You get addicted, you stop and go through withdrawal, you're clean for a few years, and then you relapse. I told him that we can go back to how it always was in a snap, but I didn't want that.

I told him that we've "known" each other for like 15 years and we don't know shit about each other. I think he got a reality check with that and agreed. Since then he's actually gone out of his way to ask me questions about my life. Do we still talk dirty? Sure. But we could be in the middle of a dirty convo, or only send a few of those kinds of txt messages, and he'll ask what my weekend plans are, or what was for dinner. And it's so fucking NICE.

The one night he asked what I miss the most about Vegas. I didn't even have to think of what my answer was, and isn't just one thing I miss (weather, Bellagio fountains, all the stuff to do). And then I started crying. NO ONE has asked what I miss about living there. People always asked why I moved there, and why I moved back and they STILL ask me that, 5 years later! So for him, of all people, to ask me what I miss, made be break down. I told him this and he said he didn't mean to make me cry, and I told him I know he didn't, and explained why I did.

He's actually called me a few times since then, but when you're 3 hours apart, you can use the time difference for not answering. "Sorry I was asleep." Ha! Not really, I was awake for another 3 hours. Oh well. The first day we talked he said he was weak for me. I said how can you be when you've never met them? But sometimes with him, I can tell him to do something and he will. I explained to him one day that my phone is always on silent. So I told him if he calls and I don't answer, I'm asleep and he could always call back and leave a voicemail of him cumming.

So what happened last night? Exactly that! Except last night I actually had my volume up, but had fallen asleep. I woke up when my phone rang, saw it was him and fell back to sleep. I woke up this morning to a two minute voicemail. So maybe he is weak for me? And maybe I'm just having fun making him work for it?

It took me a few days to ask about his marriage. He actually asked if the guy I lost my virginity to was my boyfriend at the time, so I gave him a brief explanation of what happened. He's the first and only person I've discussed the pregnancy scare with, and he said he was sorry I had to go through that alone. So then I asked if he was divorced. He said it was going that way. He said he wanted to reconcile things, but she was nasty and he doesn't want to be around her and they are trying to work out a separation. He said he wanted to tell me more, but didn't want to at the time. We were both at work, so I wasn't going to pressure him, but I might make him tell me soon. He said this weekend he was moving stuff into storage.

He said for the last 2 years he's basically been living out of his car, which baffled me. I actually told him that it was crazy and interesting (but I wasn't bragging), that for the last 2 years he's been living out of a car and I was building a brand new house. He agreed. He used to work for Ross and do payroll, but he says now he works for an electrical company doing that.

I think his wife had him on a short leash (and I'm sure for good reasons), but he's always apologizing if it takes him a while to txt back. Or he'll say work was busy, like he has to justify himself. I told him to stop apologizing. I told him I'm not his wife and I'm not keeping tabs on him. I told him we're 3 hours apart, we both have jobs and lives, and if it takes hours to respond, it's ok. I didn't tell him this, but we aren't anything to each other. If he fucks a girl after work, what say do I have? None.

He really is a fucking drug and I can't say no. I told him if I was in a relationship I wouldn't be giving him the time of day. But I'm not, so why not just have a little fun? I don't know why we can't stay away from each other.