I sit and often wonder if leaving the farm was the best decision. For my state of mental health it was but financially I dont think so. But a person can only take so much. We now have had our own apartment for two months. Cool...somewhat. Now that spring is here I regret it. I can't have my much loved flower beds and Jeff his garden. The kids really have on place to play and our place is so small we can't really have gatherings. We only have one vehicle so even if I could get a job I have no way of getting there. I would also need a babysitter now. We had all of that on the farm and no bills. Well some but not rent, water/sewer, and our electric was paid by weeding the bosses flower gardens once a month. So yeah I really feel like an idiot in retrospect. But the manager was the one that drove up crazy. The only thing that is better is that Jeff now has time off and we are closer to family. He wants to save up to dind a better place but I dont know how he plans this when we can barely pay the bills. |
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