Crazy Weddings

11/02/2010

I saw on the Main Page to write about a crazy wedding you attended. I have been to several weddings where crazy things did happen so I thought I'd write them down.

My first wedding I attended in Las Vegas was, of course, at a wedding chapel. The couple was friends with my sister. The chapel was cute but the officiant of the wedding ceremony was awful. He kept saying things like, "Do you take this big hanging, good looking man to be your husband." Or "Do you take this hoochy mama, who will soon be screaming out oh God to be your wife.", etc. He kept making rude comments and nudging the groom. I was told this is a Vegas wedding but I don't think the couple wanted this. They seemed a little shocked but said nothing. I went to another Vegas wedding a few weeks later that was very nice and beautiful, so not all Vegas weddings are crass.

At a backyard wedding, they set up a platform over the jacuzzi for the couple to stand on while saying their vows. The little bridezella got upset because the pastor dropped his notes and when he bent down to pick them up she stomped her little feet like a two year old and, yep, you guessed it, pushed him into the jacuzzi. Luckily, he wasn't totally soaked and was a good sport, he climbed out and make a joke and continued on. But the bride seethed the whole night. (They later divorced, no surprise there.)

A friend of mine wanted to get married at her church but wanted the reception at the Disneyland Hotel. That's okay but the distance between the church and Disneyland was over an hour's drive. Plus, we had to pay for parking and walk miles to the hotel. When we finally got to the reception room, we waited for hours for the bride and groom to arrive, and the staff was told not to serve food or drink until they did. So, we all ended up in the bar before they arrived and got drunk before the reception even began. I remember us all celebrating in the bar when someone rushed up to tell us the wedding party had arrived. As we all drunkenly got up to walk to the reception room, the bride's father told us we were ruining the wedding. Excuse me, they had absolutely no consideration for their guests and he was yelling at us. A couple of the guys started getting ready to fight the father but luckily all the groomsmen settled them down. The reception did not go very well, most people left way early because they'd been waiting so much.

There was another similar situation. Beautiful wedding, all the guests drive to the reception. We get there and the room is locked and when the waiter opens the door, every one is busy inside cleaning up from another party. The waiter was upset and told us we weren't supposed to be there for two hours. So once again, we waited (there was no bar to wait at this time). People were getting hungry and some made a run to McDonald's. When the wedding party arrived, we were all eating Big Macs and fries and the mother of the bride threw a fit saying she spent tons of money for a delicious dinner and we were all eating McDonald's. I talked to the Bride and asked if it was just a scheduling mistake and she said no, she knew they'd want to take a lot of pictures so she scheduled the reception to begin later and just thought people would hang out waiting. Again, no consideration for the guests. Brides, think of your guests, if you're going to keep them waiting at least feed and water them, and don't spend so many hours taking pictures, do it before the ceremony.

My BIL's wedding or World War III. My BIL and SIL lived in LA but her parents lived in San Diego. They wanted the wedding in LA to make it easy for people to attend (including very elderly relatives). SIL's parents refused to attend the wedding unless it was in San Diego (by the way, SIL had no other family in San Diego) so every one headed there, it wasn't that long a drive but elderly relatives didn't make it and that broke my heart. Every little detail was a battle between my SIL, her mother, BIL, it was awful. I remember them screaming over the wording on the invitations, how hard is that to decide. We arrived the night before for the rehearsal. The rehearsal from Hell!! It was over three hours long because SIL's father kept insisting on repeating it over and over again. My daughter was two at the time and with all the waiting she was running around the church, and I let her because, gosh, this was just a rehearsal. The next morning my BIL announced to us that they had decided no children were going to be allowed into the ceremony because my daughter had so disrupted the rehearsal they were afraid that she and other children would do the same at the ceremony. My husband was livid and told my BIL to grow some balls and tell his precious in- laws that we would not let that happen nor would anyone else, if the kids got restless we'd go outside. My husband was all for going home but, of course, realized that would accomplish nothing but bad feelings forever. They did hire a babysitter to watch the children but I and the other mothers just stood outside with our children during the ceremony and took the children to the reception. The reception was at the officer's club at the Air Force Base and it was very nice. SIL and BIL missed most of it because they were taking pictures. There were three other wedding receptions happening in other rooms at the same time. My BIL's wedding was the only one with an open bar though, so the guests from the other receptions started coming over and getting drinks. I knew this was happening but didn't tell anyone because I was so mad I wanted her parents to be stuck with a huge bar bill and they were!! (But they could afford it.) Two kids later, they're divorced.

One wedding I went to the parents of the groom were divorced. It was an ugly divorce, they were a good Catholic family, had 8 children and the father just up and leaves them all for a sweet, young thing. It was decided not to invite the father and his new squeeze and this was all explained to the father who said he understood. He shows up any way and insists on sitting in the front row smirking. This was a full Catholic wedding with communion, it was very long. When the father got up to take communion, the mother screamed out you are not in a state of grace, you cannot receive communion. This became a big scene. I felt so sorry for the couple who tried their best to avoid this occurring.

At another wedding the stupid couple put their rings on the pillow for the three year old ring bearer to walk down the aisle with. I told them the ring bearer was just for show, the actual rings should be with the best man. But I was out voted. Guess what happened, the three year old boy turned the corner of the aisle, tripped, and pillow, rings and all went flying through the air and landing among the guests. The boy burst out crying (he was okay, just startled). No one knew what to do. They stopped the procession and began looking for the pillow and the rings. They found the groom's ring but never did find the Bride's ring (to this day I think some one snatched it). The Bride was so upset she almost cancelled the wedding and the wedding chapel personnel were freaking out because another wedding party was going to soon be arriving. The bride's mother took off her own ring and told them to use it and that's what they did. But again, all through the reception the Bride kept crying and crying saying her marriage was doomed. Actually she was right, after a few years they did divorce but no kids at least.

Another strange reception. Nice, short ceremony. The reception was at a school cafeteria and we were served hot dogs and potato chips. A small wedding cake only big enough for the bride and groom was cut. No dancing. No decorations. One glass of cheap champagne in a plastic glass for a toast and that was it. I understand budget weddings but this seemed a little over kill especially since they had invited over 100 people. I later understood why they invited that many people, the gifts. I was told that the couple returned every gift they received for the cash. I'm sure they probably received much more money than the reception cost them.

I was at another very nice reception where the grooms men, very drunk, decided to streak the reception. They took off their tuxes and ran through the reception bare naked. This was a big reception with a lot of older family and their performance did not go over too well. What made it worse, was the brides maids who were in on this stole and hid the grooms mens' tuxes. Alcohol does strange things to people!!

One last thing I want to write. I received a wedding invitation to some school friend's wedding. Inside was a card written by the bride's mother stating the bride and groom were requesting cash as a gift so they could put the money toward their honeymoon, and if they didn't get enough cash, they would have to stay home. I was so mad when I saw this, trying to put a guilt trip on people to give cash. This friend was some one I hadn't seen in years and she had moved out of state so I didn't attend the wedding, and I also sent no money, only a nice card. Guess what, the bride's mom called me and asked if there had been money in the card because, if so, they did not receive it. I wanted to laugh but I politely said, I was a poor newlywed and couldn't afford to send money but I was sending my best wishes and congratulations. (Later my husband said I should of told her I'd but $100 in the card and see what she would of said-LOL.) The mother paused for a long time and said even $10 would of helped them out. I ignored her and asked how the couple was and if they did go on a Honeymoon. She told me yes, they enjoyed themselves immensely during their time in the Greek Islands and then onto Europe. Here I'm thinking they have no money, are scraping by to maybe have a honeymoon at Niagara Falls or at the most Hawaii and they're in the Greek Isles and Europe. I always wondered if they had raised enough money for this trip through gifts or ??? Anyway, I never did hear from them again. I figure they were just after as much cash as they could get from anyone they ever knew. Personally, I think it's wrong to ask for money for a gift like that.

So, that's some of my crazy wedding experiences. I think everyone has stories and we've all survived. The biggest headache I've confronted lately are the Bridezillas, they are truly out there, beware! I've seen them planning their weddings and you want to stay away and offer them no advice. I have told more than one Bridezilla that the most important thing is who you're marrying not the flower piece on the table. I've also been told back this is the biggest, most important day of their lives and it has to be perfect. I reply back to them, wait until you give birth to your first child, that will be the most precious, important day of your life.