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Stuck in a shell that is unbreakable...
by Cameron's Mommy

previous entry: Getting To Know Me

next entry: I need to...

Frustrated

12/12/2008

So as you all know (or at least some) I have an 18 year old sister who has put my family through a LOT of grief.

Well last Friday, she informed us she was 7 weeks pregnant. Everyone in my family isn't thrilled. Beth (my sister) isn't really the most independent person. She doesn't have the sence enough to know she needs to bathe daily, brush her teeth, do her hair, and so one. Basically, she just can't take care of herself. She was working at Wendy's until today where, they all of a sudden (according to her) terminated her. That's what she gets for calling in more than 2 times a week! She hasn't been able to hold a job EVER!

To top it all off, she is living in an apartment with about 10 people (including her boyfriend and herself). He boyfriend is a low life scum bag who is calling her daily but won't come home because he has to deal with the fact she is pregnant. He is currently staying with another woman and her child (who are not family) and tells Beth that she is just a friend. We all know this is his "side woman". The sad thing about it all, is he has cheated on Beth more time than I can count on my hands and toes, and she believes EVERY word he tells her.

Today she was trying to cry the blues to me because her and dip shit have 2 dogs together, whom they can NEVER feed, and said she needed a cage for her pit bull, and a lease for her lab mix, and how she needed food. I told her to be fair to those dogs, and give them to a home where someone can care for them better. She got upset at me and started crying. How can she take care of a baby if she can't care for a dog, or HERSELF? I'm just sooooo grrrrr FRUSTRATED!!!!!

She will call my family and cry and cry how she is hungry and how horrible her life is, and how she thinks Corey (her boyfriend) is cheating on her, and it's to the point where my family has pretty much tossed her to the side because she won't help herself. I mean what can you do? She doesn't listen, and when you try to tell her how it is, she thinks you are just being mean to her, and you don't know what your talking about.

The thing I'm so sad about is that she is bringing a baby into the world, whom she nor her boyfriend will ever be able to care for. Beth isn't even 3 months pregnant and I already feel bad for the child. She can't get her life together, and her boyfriend isn't going to stick around. She won't listen to any of us. She can't even feed herself, keep a job, have a stable relationship with her boyfriend, why does she think it's ok to keep the baby? I'm not saying for her to have an abortion, but why not put the child up for adoption to a loving family who has the means to provide for the child and give it a life it deserves?

She thinks that no one in the family wants her to have the baby because it's mixed. She's white and her boyfriend is black. As we've told her that has nothing to do with it. We may not agree in interracial relationships, but it doesn't mean we don't love her less or won't love her child. It's her life. I will love my niece or nephew no matter what. I just don't think it's fair to bring the baby into a place where she can't care for herself.

I'm so FRUSTRATED with this situation because she isn't listening to ANY of us! She thinks that living off the state and sitting on her ass is ok. It REALLY pisses me off. I'm honestly done with trying to convince her of how hard things are going to be, I'm just hurt to know that an innocent child is going to brought into the world, where it's going to have one tough life.

Does anyone understand my frustration? The entire time I wrote this entry I've gritted my teeth. I just want to shake her and make her realize...

How do I deal with it??? Someone, ANYONE, please help me cope!

previous entry: Getting To Know Me

next entry: I need to...

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I understand completely.. but if she can't take care of herself, she'll never be able to take care of the baby..

[Sweet EscapeStar|0 likes] [|reply]

why not invite her over for supper and at least make sure the baby that she's carrying gets the nutrients that it needs to develop?

It's hard to sit there and watch but that's the only thing that you can do, is bring her under your wing so to speak and try I guess.

She might not be responsible, but someone's got to help her be responsible since she's carrying. And one she isn't help her get on her feet. It's hard, but making sure that that baby is getting what it needs while inside her, is the best that you can do. I don't suggest giving her money to get the food, but to feed her instead and encourage her to get a job and hold it, don't push though.. it won't help unfortunately...

good luck, and if you need to chat, I'm here...

[№ яaeStar|0 likes] [|reply]

No advice but big hugs for you,...that poor baby. The dinner idea is good!

[*Haven's MamaStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I understand. If she refuses to give the baby up for adoption, maybe you can file for custody just until she can get on her feet (if at all possible). That way the baby will get the care and love that it needs and she can come see it whenever she wants.

[... JulieStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Wow! yOu are in a hard spot here! I understnad what you are saying and I know how hard it is... I mean i do have to agree with the last comment... Not saying you, I mean ya'll just had a baby!!! But if not you, maybe someone else in the family could take the child until she betters herself... I really don't have any idea, except, put her in the middle of taking care of a baby! Make her see that it's not all easy as she may think... Get her over to your house... Make her get up if the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, make her get up asif she was going to work early in the morning... they did these things in school, where they will actaully take bricks and put them into a book bag and make you understand the realistic of carrying around the weight of life on your shoulders... bills, food, rent, job, everything! I am here if you need to talk!!

[~*Princess*~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

wow
I think I agree with Princess. But other than that I really don't know.

[trying4miracle#1Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I can't imagine the situation that it's put you in. Of course you are worried and frustrated. I hope she wises up a bit and unerstands that she has to do what is best for the baby.

[Naked SimplicityStar|0 likes] [|reply]

You're such a good sister and she's lucky to have you. I know I wish that I could control my sisters every move.. but we have to let our little ones make mistakes. It's the only way they learn.

[Katie PatatieStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Wow....what a mess!
Maybe now that she is pregnant it will force her to grow up and take responsibility.

[Perfect*DisasterStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I feel the same way with Heather.. but it's a good thing she can't get pregnant. My grandma pays $200 every three months so she can get birthcontrol. Seems like we're in the same boat and if I had some kind of advice I'd tell you but I'm struggling with it myself. ;/

give Cam kisses for me!

[b|own awayStar|0 likes] [|reply]

What a frustrating situation! Hopefully she grows up soon. Hope you are doing all right!

[Junebug JennyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: Getting To Know Me

next entry: I need to...

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