I am still very upset over Monty...I can't shake the feeling that he didn't know how much I loved him or that it was ok for him to go if he needed to. Before I left the hospital I told him he had to come home, I never said it was ok if it was too much for him and I'm just praying that he knows that it was ok. I feel so selfish over it. Even with three other cats, the house feels so empty. I hate being here alone right now so I'm going out soon.
Tomorrow we will pick up his cat carrier and if his ashes are back, them too. This place doesn't feel right without him being here, even if he is only ashes in a box.
I can't believe I will never again be headbutted in the night by him, have him use my face as a launchpad, or have him come running every time I go into the kitchen and follow me up and down the worktop, trying to get into the fridge/freezer whenever it was opened.
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