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12.30PM
Jus got back from the hospital. 2 hours i've been sat in there! Too long. I've got to go back in another 2 weeks because they couldn't see babaa's heartbeat. I hope he's okay! I'm coming more to the idea of keeping him now which is why i'm dreading it in 2 weeks 'cos i think it'll hurt more if i do go ahead with this termination.
We'll see!
I've told Shane what's going on. He was hoping it'd be gone today so he's a little shocked. We was going round the shops last night and we passed quite a lot of baby items which made him think a bit i reckk. I don't think he'd ever say he wanted to keep the little one to me though - he likes to play the tough cookie at times - but i guess all men're like that in a way.
The stomach cramps last night were horrendous. I was awake most of it - little Shane tried comforting me though. Bless (:
Relaxing for the rest of the day i reckk. Jus listening to Johnta Austin = sexy genius, hehe.
3PM.
I've fixed dilly! (: And thank fack 'cos i aint been able to use that in like 3 months. Sometimes fingers jus doesn't cover it. Haha. Jus had 2 rounds with him - very nice!
I'm so bored! This whole idea of staying out the pub is not going down too well. I feel like i've been confined to a lonely room for like a year, haha. Back to work tomor anyway with any luck - can't wait!
7.30PM
Well i'm being ignored now by Shane. I haven't heard from him since 12, and suprise suprise - the little cunt has got me worrying about him again! I hope he's made it home from work safe. Pfft! If i ain't worrying he's getting into scraps when he's out, i'm worrying he's blown himself up, and if it ain't that then i'm worrying he ain't eating properly. And talk of the devil - he's jus text me. So, panic over!
I've never been like this with a fella before. I don't know what's wrong with me. I do have proper strong feelings for him. Poor sod being stuck with me, heh. Maybe it's love?.. i don't know what that feels like.
Mama's cooking dinner tonight - Steak pie, mash, mushy peas & gravy. It would sound bloody gorgeous but i don't feel like eating. We went for a big breakfast at Morro's after the hospital and i nearly threw the fucker up. I don't know if it's this baby or me jus worrying about things too much. I don't suppose that can be any good for the babaa. So, soaps in for me & Shane tonight, he WILL watch them! Hehe.
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u never mentioned adoption maybe?
