i'm crazy, i feel crazy.
is life still a gift when you aren't doing anything with it? i am doing nothing. i don't care where i am or who i am or how old i am, but i am doing nothing with my life.
i already look back on high school as a WASTE OF TIME. when i go to school for seven hours a day and i sit there, never learning a thing, not because of my lack of eagerness or willingness to learn, but because my school has gone to shit, because all teachers need to do to teach a subject is PASS A TEST, because the people that are teaching me are fucking crazier than i am, IS MY LIFE STILL A GIFT?
i realized, driving home tonight bumpin' patsy cline, that there are about three people in the world that make me genuinely happy right now, and i have already lost them or will lose them when i leave, and they leave. shoooooooooooot.
tonight Big D told me, "my heart is your heart."
it is all too much. too much.
my life is a gift. fuck me for not loving it.
ediiiit i think i need to get more sleep. and breathe a little more. haha.