Love is Friendship on Fire!!
i have decided to myself that i am not going to like the kid i work with because him and another girl there hangout and stuff, so i dont want to ruin a new friendship with this girl i met at work... I have decided that i am going to try and make things better with my ex. We still talk and everything, and ive been trying to hangout with him for awhile. I feel like hes playing head games. That pisses me off. but i dont want to jump to any conclusions incase he just doesnt realize it.
Like last week, i talked to him and told him i was on spring break this week, and i thought we should get together... thinking he was cool with this because he did say sounds good.. which i thought meant yeah. i guess i was wrong though. Because i talked to him tonight about if he still wanted to hangout sometime during break... and he said he had stuff planned. Of course is all i thought. but whatever. so i said to him that it was a no and he told me its a maybe.... which to him for me is basically a no without saying it. Why cant he just say no to begin with.. make it easier for us. Then being a girl and liking him an all i asked him if he promised to let me know what was going on.. and being the jackass he is... he promised.. knowing he didnt mean it. Guys never do. so now im stuck wondering if he is actually going to let me know or if its going to be like every other time and forget or just pretend like he forgot.
I know deep down he means well but he sucks at being a friend. Thats all i want if nothing will come out of this again. I realize if he doesnt want a relationship.. its whatever but hes going to have to settle down sometime.. hes not getting younger and hes close to mid 20's. if i would him id practice while i could. But i guess thats the difference between guys and girls. It juts frustrates me that we are so different.. but in reality were not, just in his head. Ugh! lol
Ive been doing pretty good to keeping things off my mind too.. which makes me a lot happier, but i know that if it builds up im just going to explod one day... which will be embarassing. Im searching for that balance to stay content throughout life.
But im going to go to bed now because im sure my friend will be calling me early tomorrow morning because were going to hangout for a bit. it makes me happy to have plans.
Good night =]
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