i've always been a sad girl, yes. but it wasn't until last semester when i knew i was seriously depressed. i got out of it, socialized, got my grades up. the works.
today was just awful.
nothing was that bad, really, but it feels like nothing can make me happy.
my parents aren't going to counseling so i know my dad is going to strike at me again one day.
i hardly got to see nick over the weekend i was home.
i feel like i'll never be happy with my weight.
my friend harry, the one in the yellow in that dance video, told me to get a life today after reading one of my blogs on myspace and i really took it hard.
idk WHY since he pry didn't mean much by it, but it hurt me a lot.
my grades aren't getting better.
im losing sleep.
i started taking laxatives again which i haven't done since last summer.
there are people with lives sooo much worse than mine. so much worse.
but i don't give a flying shit.
i don't care what anyone says to this entry.
im upset without a reason.
love must be as much a light...
as it is a flame.
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honey, you're a female. we all have days like these. days when it seems like we'll never be happy again. but what really makes the difference is waking up tomorrow with the intention of getting happy. make the decision to find something to make you smile. focus on the fact that you're not going to be home much longer for your dad to hit you. and if you need to, you can run to illinois. and you still have nick to see next time you go home... because he loves you and he'll be waiting for you to come back. and i'm sure harry was joking. nothing you've ever said about him has ever seemed like he's that vindictive.
Oh my love, don't feel so bad. Firstly, laxatives as a form of weight loss is a bad idea. Try Fiber Therapy instead. Look at wal-mart, where the vitamins and stuff are and its like 4 bucks. Fiber Therapy just helps clean out the garbage in your colon that is left over. It's alot more mild than a laxative, and its healthier. It just increases regularity. Takes about 4 days to get you regular. Trust me 