I'm Fat

A week or two ago I was at 180.2 down from 195 pounds. Can you guess what my weight is? 187.6!! Jesus! 

I don't know own if any of my old Open Diary friends moved here after Open Diary shut down but to sum up my life from February 2014, it goes like this. I lost my apartment because I got sued over a car I bought two years ago. So 2012. It was a buy here pay here place and it blew the head gasket off and killed a lifter and an injector and a sparkplug. They didn't want to fix it when I was so close to paying it off. I owed around $1,600.00 dollars. So naturally they wanted to sell me a different car; a much older car that looked like junk. A Chevy Cavalier...

I had a nice dark gray Mitsubishi that I took care of. Going from that to the Cavalier was like going from a BMW to a Cavalier being sold to you for the same price as the BMW. So I told them to pick up. I didn't hear from them for two, almost three years and out of nowhere I'm hit with a I failed to show up for court letter and that they're going to deduct what I owe from my paycheck. They took 20% out of each check. They hit me $3,800.00 dollars. By then I already had a different car from some other buy here pay here place. Between them taking $200.00 dollars out of each check and rent and my new car payment, I couldn't do it.

Alyssa left me for some guy that we worked with. My hours got cut and she told our boss I was trying to take her money since we had a joint bank account. Her check got deposited into my account. So she took everything.

I asked her if she could pay her half of the rent and she refused. 

I couldn't do it! So I moved in with my mom. That was four years ago. 

When Alyssa left me I didn't eat for three months. I had a sip of water and 1 ounce of food. Or one sample spoon size of food. I gave out food samples at work making $20.00 an hour at Walmart. So with my hours cut, rent, and being sued, I couldn't do it. I got so skinny and when I did try to eat I just threw it up. 

I got down to 171. Then I slowly went up after moving in with my mom. I didn't have money to buy food in the first place. I shot up to 198 pounds working for Serco. You might know it as Obama Care where I sat at a desk eating, and eating. 

My mom's house is getting sold and I have to find a place of my own. I can't eat here because she'll charge me $10.00 dollars for a soda. I don't even have a job. I help her with her cleaning business but she made a big deal about me not being on her insurance so now I can't help her. She wants to see me with nothing. I'm so far behind on my car I don't know if I can make it. I'll have it all paid up on the first but it's getting to the first that sucks. I have to buy my own food and then I cracked my bumper changing the headlights.

I'm about to drop $495.00 dollars on it to get it fixed. I could have gone without it but she's my baby. If you want to see her you can look up my Instagram. 

Instagram: AHeavyAbacus 

I paid off the car I got after being sued and got my G8. She's a Holden Commodore VE from Australia with a Pontiac logo. She's my most treasured possession. Her and my cat and my mom's cat. She wants to give him away so now I have to find a place fast so I can take him. Oh, a job too. 

My world is crashing all around me. 

It's all one big mess!

I'm trying to save what little I do have. Not to mention that my car has some issues that I needed to fix. 

As long as my car looks good, I'll be happy. It isn't the end of the world yet. I still have some fight left in me.

So, all of that crap brings me to here. I downloaded that my fitness application off the android market. I typed in my soda and chicken that I ate with jambalaya and red beans and rice. I'm down to 420 calories for the rest of the say. I have it set to make me shed 2 pounds a week. I can only eat 1,500 calories a day. My goal is to hit 165. 

I used it three years ago before I moved in with my mom and got fat. That's all she says. I'm fat. I'm nasty looking. I'm ugly. That's all I hear. 

I lost 13 pounds in 3 weeks and working out once a week for 30 minutes. I cut my soda intake and ate nothing but McDonald's side salad with grilled chicken. That or I made my own with a whole avocado. Then I ate one burger a day for five days and gained it all back. 

Now I'm going to try it again. 1,500 calories a day it is.