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Ellie's Diary
by Ellie

previous entry: Eight.

next entry: Ten. (+Survey)

Nine.

05/22/2010

So, I wound up spending the night at the hospital with Gabbers yesterday. Left home around 5, didn't get back til...well, considering the day started again at 6, I don't want to think about it. When we got to the hospital, her o2 sats were fluctuating, the lowest was 95%, which...eh, it could be worse, BUT, 98%+ is optimal. They gave her some oxygen, her breath sounds were good and there was no wheezing. They did 3 chest xrays, and an echocardiogram, which all came back clear, so they started her on an albuterol inhaler and said that this is Reactive Airway Disease. Which...well, we now have an inhaler & spacer for use at home, and any time she's having trouble at home, I'm informed on what to do. SO, that's awesome. There's been so much wrong with her since day one, that I've lost hope on ever having nothing be wrong - but I love when what's wrong, is something I can "fix" at home. The inhaler yesterday, helped her SO fast. It's great.

Speaking of her health, I got a letter in the mail yesterday from her Endocrinologist, about a Turner's Syndrome Clinic they're having at the hospital. Day starts off with an endocrine check up, and then there's a baseline evaluation to see what other TS related doctors may need to be involved. And then, lunch and socializing with other girls & their families. I've met several other Moms online who have kids with TS, and value the friendship SO much of someone who "gets it", and I'm so excited to actually get to MEET someone!!! TSSUS has a confrence every year for it, but it's sooo expensive, that I really don't know if we'll ever make it. With her & me & the boys...yeahhhh, no. With regular bills and her medical bills and everything else, I don't see it being possible for awhile. Maybe someday (if I ever recieve child support, hahaha!) it will happen, but, until that day...Doubtful. Maybe after I go back to school???

I think I've made a pretty solid decision regarding school - I'm going to go to cosmetology school. It's not as long as getting an actual degree, and it's more hands on and less class work. Class work terrifies me, I was such a horrible student in high school. I don't want to set myself up to fail, and I really think that this is probably what I have the best shot at completeing successfully. SO, I'm kinda excited about that. It's good to get a plan formulated. Now I just have to figure out how the fuck I'm going to balance school and work and kids and AHHHHH. A friend suggested booking less work and applying for government assistance, but, I don't know I've never recieved help, and I HATE to start now. I feel like it would just...make me a statistic. I was a teen Mom. They keep track of how many former teen Moms get help, and publish it and use it against us, as if they see a need to advertise "failure" on our behalf. I don't want to be one of those statistics - especially seeing that I've done ok thus far WITHOUT help. But, going back to school...It's going to change a lot. I'll need daycare. As it is now, only about 8 hours a week are away from home - beyond that, it's all in scheduling and networking and working out for work. My Mom & Best friend have been amazing about splitting up the time and helping me, so they've never been in daycare. School's really going to throw me for a loop - and daycare is expensive. Especially with three kids. UGH, I guess we'll see. The more I think about it all, the more nervous I am about going back. I don't know how the fuck I'm going to make it work.


Went grocery shopping today, I don't think I'll have to go again for like, a MONTH. I'm sure that's an exaggeration, at least a bit, but....not by much I don't think haha. Took an hour to put everything away! But, since I can't drive right now, and my Mom is getting ready to go out of town, I figured I needed to get it done. YAY! While we were out I had a talk with the Madre about the Boyfriend & some skeletons in his closet...Figured just incase it came out at some point, I didn't want her to be surprised. She seemed a bit alarmed at first, but, given certain situations, she really can't say too much. It's nothing that is a big deal anymore - but if she found out and didn't know, she'd MAKE a big deal out of it. It's just how she is. Whatever.

Yawnnn...So tired. Lots more to do today, so, I'd best get off here and go start cooking and whatnot. Wooo..

previous entry: Eight.

next entry: Ten. (+Survey)

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I think you'd do great in cosmetology!!!!!

[.Jess|0 likes] [|reply]

Thank you !!

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

That's pretty much what I'm doing. She'll 'start' pre-k this year, so I've decided to homeschool for pre-k and Kindergarten. It turns out, in NC, that they have to be 7 before you report your home school to the state, so I may home school her through first grade as well. If I like it enough, I'll go ahead and keep on it.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Aww, I'm sorry. I was considering it for a while and then after talking with a friend of my parents, who has a son in elementary school, and hearing about how the school districts kind of suck, that solidified my decision to home school.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I have a feeling the same thing would happen with our daughter. She's incredibly smart (well, I think so, lol) and I know from experience with public schools that it would probably end up just hindering her in her growth since they have the rules they have to stick by. If she's home schooled, then I can make sure she's learning up to her full potential. I've already told my husband, though, that once she hits high school, she's going into public education. Whether it's public, private, or even a Christian school, she's going to spend her teenage years with others her age. I want her to have the chance to play sports, band, go to prom, homecoming, all those things teenagers look forward to.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I have a very good friend of mine that made me promise I wouldn't do that to her and I won't. I don't see the point in being over-protective in this world we're in because you're setting your children up for failure with such an unrealistic view of the real world. They need to know exactly what's going to go on when they get out there. They need to make mistakes, they need to learn for themselves. I can only hope I raise our daughter the way myself and my husband were raised. We may go to church and all, but I, personally, feel it's up to her to make her own decision about whether or not she wants to go to church (right now she does, which is nice) and if so, what religion she wants to be. I guess I'm weird. I don't believe in forcing anyone to do anything. lol.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Exactly. It's exactly like you said. Lead by example. If you want your children to grow to be good people, you have to lead by the best example you can. My daughter is notorious for following what my husband or myself do and at times, it's frustrating, but I understand she's learning and that's how she's going to learn, so I just have to go with it.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Thanks! She's such a little hellion sometimes, though, lol. I'm going to add a few more pictures of her here soon. As far as the music goes...Dropkick Murphys are my favorite band EVER. I've seen them twice in concert and next year, as long as things fall into place the right way, I'll be seeing them in Boston for their annual St. Patrick's Day concert.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

We've been lucky. Both my husband and myself are very bad about what we say around her, but she's only slipped up once or twice and after we told her that she does NOT repeat those words, she's never said them again. My mother says she takes after me like that. My parents cursed my entire life. Rarely do I *ever* curse in front of them and I'm 26 years old. I think it's a respect issue.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

If you're ever given the chance to do it, do it. They are AMAZING live. There are a ton of bands who suck live, but not DKM. Last week, I finally got "Live on Lansdowne" and have been listening to it. It's the same set they placed at the concert I went to back in March (which I got to touch Al, the lead singer, AND I was up on stage during Kiss Me I'm Sh*tfaced - one pic to prove it, lol -) and they just rock SO MUCH live.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

My entire family is rough, too. Both parents were military so it was always around. It still is, even in front of the little one, but I feel that, they're going to hear it. They're going to start saying it. The most you can do is teach them that at this age, it's inappropriate.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

My husband didn't care for them too much at first, but then I was listening to them ALL the time. Now, I've gotten 3 people into listening to them and my husband likes them just as much as I do. Our daughter loves them as well. She likes running/jumping around and headbanging while singing to them.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Oh, it's awesome. We were driving in the car one afternoon, I think when I had picked her up from the sitter, and she said, "Mommy? You can play the Murphys please?" I don't remember which one it is, but she has a favorite song. One of mine is "The Dirty Glass" and I never thought I'd hear it live. They had the girl come out on stage that normally sings that part and they did it live. It was one of the best nights of my life. lol.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Definitely I added you to my friends list, if that's okay.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Woot!! Well, I do have to run for now. The husband should be on the way home and I have to finish up dinner. Ribs, baked beans, and corn. Mm-mmm. I'll talk to you later.

[CarolinaMomStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Thank you! I LOVE photography. It's definitely what I want to do when I'm able to do it full time.

[Carolina GirlStar|0 likes] [|reply]

What skeletons? Why can't you drive?

[stressedmommaStar|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: Eight.

next entry: Ten. (+Survey)

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