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blackknight's Diary
by blackknight

previous entry: The Frame

next entry: A contradictory entry

A Respectable Entry

10/28/2014

Oh. I forgot that Bloopdiary likes to randomly shut down when you're just about to publish an entry. Lol. Lesson learned nice and early, thanks, Bloop! The entry I wrote before this one, was, of course, much better, more interesting, more coherent, with pictures! Pictures of me, naked, in a santa hat, pictures of my dick, etc. ...I'm utterly lying, by the way. But it was slightly more coherent than this one...

I was just looking at my old diary. I won't make an effort to recover my old password. I want a new start. I haven't written in it since 2011, it's kind of weird to see how much has changed. I want to be that carefree, sexual person again. I'm sick of being a shell of my former self. I read an old entry of mine and got really horny over the memories it brought back. When life was dirtier, more... raw. Now I'm sitting here, thumbing through my contacts on my old phone, trying to find someone who might maybe be interested in a comfort fuck at noon on a Tuesday. People who I haven't spoken to in years. I don't have the balls to call or text any of them. They probably think I'm dead. From AIDS. Or killed in some kind of S&M game gone wrong. Or auto-asphyxiated, like Michael Hutchence! Mmmm Michael Hutchence. I love you. I looooveeee youuuuuu. Let me have sex with your corrrrpseee. Nope. Still here. Bored. Horny. Lonely. Fat. Did I mention that? Faaaaaaattttttttttttttt.

I need to go and get my hair cut because I have a date tomorrow. I have lied to this guy about everything and it's really scary, because I'm not good at lying, and I just know I will fuck up at one point and contradict one of my earlier lies. I just wanted to pretend for a while that I'm your normal, run of the mill kind of guy. I thought, this guy seems really normal and nice, and I just want a normal, nice guy to date. And normal, nice guys, don't go for guys with my kind of history. So I kind of... just... omitted some details. ...I need to go and get a hair cut.

This entry was not how I wanted it to be. The one I wrote before, before Bloop ate it, was better. More serious. More... Less... More respectable. Give me respect, dammit. ...That'll do.

previous entry: The Frame

next entry: A contradictory entry

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I'm pissed at Bloop for deleting your rather interesting pictures. Tisk-tisk. Ha.

Having sex with corpses... that's bad. Well, I say that's bad, but... whatever. To Each His Own. Bored, Horny, Lonely, and Fat... not so bad.

What have you lied to your date about? Maybe he won't care. Maybe you will have one of those awesome Soul-Mate connections!!

Those are the best!!

[Bacterial Noah|0 likes] [|reply]

I'm using the "reply to comment" feature, but what's "converse"? I vaguely remember these things.

Haha, "to each his own" re sex with corpses... Pretty sure it's illegal and, I mean, I think it's possibly immoral, too, but who knows? Surely people would understand, because it is Michael Hutchence, after all, and he is, you know, just the sexiest man who ever lived.

I've lied to my date about really dumb things. I lied to my date about going to work every day, the truth is, I've called in sick for the past two weeks, because I'm having a bit of a nervous breakdown. A date doesn't necessarily need to know that the guy their dating is losing it, right? I'm even getting paranoid, like, maybe he KNOWS I've not been at work, maybe he is friends with someone at my work... Eghhh. But I'm really not up for being honest about this one thing. I also think I remember lying about the gender of one of my doctors, because I'm seeing two at the moment, one male one female, and I didn't want to make it obvious I'm seeing more than one doctor, so I think I lied and referred to the male one as "she" at one point, but I can't remember! ...The things I'm lying about are mainly related to my medical history and medical stuff, which on one hand, I think is fine to lie about, but because it's so... CURRENT, like, happening right now, and the lying about being at work, like he goes, "how was work?" and I'm like "oh yeah, it was great, I love my job..." but I've been bumming around the house all day, waiting for my doctor appointment so I can get my meds, and shit.

Also, I don't think Soul Mate connections exist, I'm sorry Guys who seem to be your soul mate early on are total frauds and are just telling you what you want to hear so that you sell your heart to them and don't realise when you get nothing in return. I might be jaded, somewhat...

[blackknight|0 likes] [|reply]

First off... Yes, I agree... I said that was bad, but I didn't want to offend you if you were serious. Of course... if you were serious, That would have probably made me regret saying that I would be your friend.

'Cause that shit is just unacceptable. I mean... it really is...

As far as the lies are concerned... I mean... It it is a first date. He doesn't need to know every single detail about your life... right? I would probably be like "That's none of your fucking business."

Of course... I am perpetually single, so maybe that is my problem.

Soulmates... Eh... sometimes I think they exist, and then I get pissed off and don't think they exist. I met one guy one time and my spine tingled and my entire world stopped around me and I knew that he is the one person that I wanted to be with. Of course, I thought he was way too gorgeous for me, and he was better than me, and he would never date me in a million years.

And I grew to hate him for this and that... so maybe you are correct.

Sometimes I see him in passing and my spine still tingles. I feel like he is the only person that I want to be with. Alas, he doesn't feel the same... so I feel like shit afterwards.

Anyway... Let us know how the date goes.

Also, "reply" shows a new, indented, comment under the existing comment. "converse" posts a comment onto the latest entry of the diary member's diary.

[Bacterial Noah|0 likes] [|reply]

...I wasn't serious about having sex with corpses. LOL. Let's just clear that up. Oh my god. It's just that I love Michael Hutchence, and unfortunately, he died in '97. Auto-asphyxiation, like I said. God, even the way he died is sexy.

[blackknight|0 likes] [|reply]

I assumed that you were just joking. I was just giving you a hard time.

[Bacterial Noah|0 likes] [|reply]

Honestly idk.. haven't decided yet

[AMH|0 likes] [|reply]

Bloop eats a lot of things randomly these days. And why can I not picture who Michael Hutchnce is at all... like, the name is really familiar, but the mind has got nothing beyond that.

[Half way to Anywhere|0 likes] [|reply]

The singer from INXS. I mean, the original.... God, so sexy!

[blackknight|0 likes] [|reply]

Best of luck with the date

[just del|0 likes] [|reply]

I got waay curious & checked out ur old diary. I must say it was interesting & totally fun to read!!!!!!!!!!!!

[twistedlady|0 likes] [|reply]

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next entry: A contradictory entry

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