So I'm at the mall shopping for shoes with Becka. For Krista's wedding which is next week.
We're bridesmaids. We should have gotten shoes earlier.
But we're both lazy and you know... didn't.
Went to lunch at the Cheesecake factory... had fun laughing at random things. Which always happens when I hang out with Becka. She's pretty cool. We actually ended up getting matching shoes cause they're cute and comfy and they work with the skirts, not to be twins or anything. Just cause we both liked the same pair.
Krista doesn't care about the shoes. So long as they're brown she says.
She's not being a Nazi about the dresses either. Which is nice.
We all got to pick different tops, and just have matching jackets and the same length skirt.
So I send Torrance a message, telling here what's going on this week, cause we haven't hung out in a while.
Get a text thinking it's her.
It's not.
Pete sent me a text.
"My parents do not know yet and I want to keep it that way till I am done with this show."
So I'm thinking... "What the fuck does that mean?"
Cause he said he wasn't ready to be a parent and the best option would be to not keep the baby.
Meaning he doesn't want to keep it.
So if he doesn't want it then he doesn't have to be there. Right?
So I'm trying to think of a way to say that and I send.
"You don't have to tell them anything...You said you aren't ready to be a parent. You don't have to be one."
He didn't answer me. I know it's a lot to process and that he has a lot to think about... I'm trying to be understanding of that but it's really hard.
I'm trying to keep in mind that he's probably at work and busy. But I'm kind of sick of giving him that excuse. He's been using that one for years. And I know he really is busy... but I have someone much more important to worry about.
I don't want him to be there if he's going to be... I don't know how to explain it.
Resentful... yeah that's it.
My kid does not need to grow up with that kind of negative energy in it's life.
ANd it won't.
I won't let that happen.
I hate that this is messy.
I wish things were different. I don't want to be hurting like this
I'm going to go take Steph and Vance trick or treating and try and relax.
Too much stress is bad for the Bug.
Fine I'll say it... Click my eggs and baby dragons!!!
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