Every night Eric and I play The Unwinnable Race. This is where you get into your pj's, turn down the comforter, and as quickly as you POSSIBLY can try to get under the blankets and have them pulled up over your shoulder before Darby and Fatness (Mr. Kitty) jump on the bed and their combined weight prevents you from pulling the blanket up to a comfortable spot. And then you get trampled while THEY get comfortable. And then they start farting. And then Ms. Kitty shows up and scream-meows "EUUUUUUUWWW" straight into Eric's face because apparently that's how she communicates "Let me under the covers now." And then you sleep for like 5 hours before Fatness strolls up to sleeping Ms. Kitty and smacks her, to which she reacts as explosive and violently as possible, which scares/pisses off Darby who then barks at both of them until they're frozen in terror, but eventually Ms. Kitty realizes that Fatness is still sitting too close to her so she reacts like an Atom Bomb detonating all over again and then Darby chases her under the bed where she growls incessantly until daybreak.
I just give up with these damn animals.
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