ever since my last entry i have found what i thought i had lost. i am feeling better about everything that has been going on. even though i thought some doors were closing on me, i have found that it is true....more doors are opening. all the problems that i was having with some people i talk to are slowly dissolving...i mean slowly. but at least they are going away. i have, however, been sick since wednesday and i have missed so much work it is insane. i am so sick of being confined to my house so i don't get anyone else sick but i would rather that then everyone having what i have.
now, on to the real reason i am writing tonight. i have found that forgetting things is harder (much harder) than what i thought. i want to forget not remember. but i know that will only take time. however, no matter how hard i try i just can't seem to. maybe it was the real thing? maybe my mind only wants it to be the real thing? maybe it was a figment of my imagination the whole time? anyway you look at it.....i want need to forget. i can move on with my life, i know that i can. but i don't know that i will ever stop thinking about the past. it seems that those days stick in my head everytime i look forward. these thoughts are nowhere in the front of my thoughts, don't think that. they are, however, constantly in the back of my mind and i am not sure how to shake them. maybe, as everyone tells me, it will honestly take more time than i thought. i am slowly forgetting and slowly is better than not forgetting.
well on that note, i am going to be creative with my time. my computer background is getting pretty old. time to make a new one!
::End of story::
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